


Only You

by polverine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Jilytober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:47:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 22,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26750857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polverine/pseuds/polverine
Summary: Collection of one shots for Jilytober 2020
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 281
Kudos: 115
Collections: James and Lily Fanfics





	1. Trapped in a Broom Cupboard

**January 1977**

“Potter!” He turned at the sound of his name and tried to hide the two bottles of Firewhisky behind his back, but he knew that he was too late. 

“Alright Evans?” He asked, noting that they were back to surnames even when they were alone. That probably meant that this wasn’t going to end in them sneaking off somewhere to kiss — to indulge in their secret… well, to call it a relationship would be a massive overstatement. But they were definitely a secret something. “Are you going to give me a detention?” He tried to keep his tone as innocent as possible. James didn’t miss the flash of excitement in her eyes as she considered the possibilities.

“I could.” She warned him. “In fact, I should.” 

“Do I get to do the detention with you?” He smirked, and watched in satisfaction as her cheeks turned slightly pink. She opened her mouth to respond, but paused. James heard the footsteps too. There seemed to be a moment of indecision on her face before she opened the door to a broom cupboard and beckoned him inside. James didn’t waste anytime closing the door behind them.

It was pitch black. The cupboard was so small that his body was pressed right against hers. He listened hard, Sprout and McGonagall had stopped right outside for a chat. _Move it along ladies_ , he found himself thinking. Though, if they didn’t there were far, far worse places he could be. Lily’s hair tickled his cheek and her breath was hot against his collar bone. He set down one of the bottles and opened the other, turning his head to take as swig. It was wonderfully warm, burning his throat. He could almost _feel_ Lily roll her eyes. Then, to his amazement, she took the bottle from him and did the same.

“Prefect.” He whispered, his lips brushing her earlobe as he spoke. The sound of her breath catching did remarkable things to him. Neither spoke again until McGonagall and Sprout’s footsteps started up again and faded away.

“I’ve decided to take your advice, James, and you know, live a little.” She said, he felt her shift against him slightly to open the door. Nothing happened.

“Um, Lils?” He asked.

“Shh. _Alohomora_.” She said. Again, nothing. “I think we’re stuck.”

“Are you sure you’re doing the spell cor—” He broke off, there was no way he was finishing that question. There were far more entertaining things they could be doing in such a small space than fighting.

“What was that, James?” She challenged, her hand was on her hip because as she turned back to him her elbow brushed against his stomach.

“I didn’t say a thing, you must be hearing things Lily.” He grinned. “It’s fine, someone will be along eventually, when they do we’ll just start banging against the door.” James turned scarlet, and was incredibly grateful to the darkness. “I didn’t mean that.” He added quickly as Lily dissolved into a fit of giggles. 

“I suppose you _sort of_ bought me a drink first.” She said, taking a sip from the bottle and handing it back. James did the same and set it down. 

“I get all flustered and make a fool of myself around you, is it _nice_ to tease me for that?” He challenged. 

“I didn’t think you minded me teasing you?” She grinned, reaching up to play with the collar of his shirt, her nails scraping gently across his skin.

“Lily.” He groaned. This had to be deliberate, she had to be able to feel what she was doing to him. He took a step forwards and pressed her body against the wall. His lips found hers in the darkness and kissed her. Her hands travelled up to tug gently on his hair, and honestly, he was perfectly happy to spend the rest of his life in this tiny cupboard. He ran his hands down to her thighs and lifted her. Lily wrapped her legs around his waist and deepened the kiss. He trailed his hands back up her body, stopping to caress her breasts through her shirt, and taking an immense amount of enjoyment from the moan that escaped from her mouth to his. 

Lily froze for a moment, and then quickly pulled back, unhooking her legs.

“Wha—” He began but she covered his mouth with her hand. 

“Someone’s coming. Quick, hide the bottles.” She whispered. James heard the footsteps too. He turned and quickly put the bottles in a mop bucket as Lily slapped her palm against the door, shouting that they were stuck. The door burst open and James turned as light flooded into the tiny space. Snape was stood on the other side. 

James hadn’t thought the moment could be more perfect, but then he saw the look of horror on Snape’s sallow face as he took in their messed up hair and rumpled clothes. 

“Good man, Snivellus. Thanks for that.” He smirked, shifting to let Lily out before him. 

“Thanks.” She said, and James was sure she was stuck somewhere between amusement and embarrassment. “Went to put a bucket back and got stuck.” She shrugged. James glanced over his shoulder as they hurried down the corridor and was delighted to see that Snape had turned a rather unpleasant shade of green.


	2. At a Quidditch Match

**March 1977**

Though she would never admit it to him, Lily actually cared about Quidditch when James was playing. Plus, she got far too much enjoyment from their on going argument of football verses Quidditch to admit to anything. Football was obviously better, but Quidditch wasn’t _quite_ as bad as she pretended that it was. 

She didn’t hate it nearly as much as she pretended to, just like she hadn’t hated James nearly as much as she’d pretended to. 

It was his first match as captain now that Ana had resigned from that particular position, and she desperately wanted Gryffindor to win… for him. Lily’s first thought when he’d been made captain was that they might bump into him in the Prefects' bathroom… she wouldn’t be admitting that to him either. 

Maybe today, after the match…

_Stop it, Lily!_

James threw the Quaffle to Marlene who fumbled with it and had to roll in the air to keep hold of the ball. Sirius stiffened beside her, and Lily was sure that his heart might have stopped for a moment, but Marlene was fine. Lily understood, after that last match he was on edge, they were all a little on edge. Marlene passed to Ana and she scored to a deafening cheer from the Gryffindor supporters. 

James caught the Quaffle again but one of the Hufflepuff Beaters hit a Bludger at him. Lily didn’t have to be able to hear it to know the sound his shoulder must have made as it popped out of the socket. On her other side Peter turned slightly green. 

“He’ll be okay.” She told him, hoping that it was true. _That damn shoulder of his!_ “He needs to call for a time out, he can’t play like that! He needs to get it sorted.”

“Arrogant prick.” Sirius muttered, chewing on his thumbnail.

“Look at Clodagh!” Lily shouted as the red blur of their Seeker shot towards the ground. The Gryffindors rose in a mass of scarlet and when she straightened up, fist in the air, the roar was tumultuous. “Come on, let’s go.” She said to Sirius, pushing him towards the stairs. They hurried down them and onto the pitch as the rest of the team landed beside the Seeker. James dismounted his broom, white faced and stumbled towards Lily and Sirius. 

“Pop it back in before Marlene makes me go to the hospital wing.” He said to Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes and gripped James’s elbow before tapping his shoulder with his wand. Lily didn’t cover here ears in time to miss the _crack_. Her stomach rolled, normally she was made of stronger stuff but there was something so awful about James's dodgy shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” She asked, resisting the urge to grab him by the front of his robes and kiss him. This was still their little secret after all, and they were standing in front of the whole school. 

“Right as rain.” He said, though he extended his arm a little gingerly. “Nothing a soak in a hot bath won’t fix.” He added, winking at her. Lily felt her cheeks turn warm and quickly looked away. _Do not get ideas._

“Why didn’t you call a time out?” Marlene demanded, hurrying over to them, and Lily was immensely grateful for the change of subject. 

“I was fine.” He sighed, letting her check his arm for herself.

“Would you have called for one if it had been one of us?” Marlene asked, but from the look on her face Lily was sure that she already knew the answer. 

“Well obviously.” James grinned. That stupid, cocky, handsome grin that she loved so fucking much. 

“He likes to be the big hero.” Lily said rolling her eyes, but she wasn’t sure she’d managed to make it quite exasperated enough. 

“Party in the common room?” Sirius asked, it sounded rhetorical. “Where’s Moony? We need to get supplies.”

“Excuse me, where’s my kiss, or even a ‘wow, Marley, you flew well’?” Marlene asked him, her lip twitching as she fought a grin. Sirius pecked her lips and slapped her arse as he walked past her. 

“How’s that?” He called back over his shoulder, hurrying back towards the stands. 

“Such a knob.” Marlene laughed, a soft fondness under the sound. “Come on Jamie, let’s get changed.” 

“See you later Lily.” He smirked, his eyes raking down her body before he turned towards the changing rooms. Lily’s breath caught and she suddenly felt far too hot in her jumper. It wasn’t _fair_ that he could make her feel like that with such ease!


	3. Marauders giving James a hard time about Lily

**October 1976**

James stared at the solid wall in front of him, map and quill in hand. He’d come to check the room he’d found Lily dancing in the other week, wanted to make sure he got it right on the map. Except, the door was gone. He’d tried a variety of charms to reveal anything that might be hidden there — everything he could think of — but nothing. He was definitely in the right place. Right opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy teaching some trolls to dance ballet, yet, no door. 

Frowning he returned to the common room. He didn’t understand. It had been there, he’d been in there with Lily, she’d told him that she fancied him, he was hardly likely to forget it!

“Hi.” He said absentmindedly to Remus and Peter as he dropped down into one of the arm chairs by the fire.

“What’s the matter with you?” Peter asked.

“I can’t find Evans’s dance studio.” He said, and when they looked at him in confusion he remembered that he hadn’t actually told them. “The other week I found her dancing in this room on the seventh floor, opposite that Barnabas tapestry. But I went back to put it on the map and I can’t find it.” He explained. 

“I’ve been down there, there’s no room.” Remus said, looking up from his book. 

“I’m telling you that there was.” James said. 

“Alright, alright.” Remus said, but there was something in his voice. He was humouring him. “Come on, Pete, we’ll take a look.” He set down his book and got up, waiting for Peter to follow him. James sat back moodily, staring at the map. They were so close to having it drawn up, they didn’t need this now.

It was about twenty minutes before they returned, both trying not to grin it seemed. “Well?” James asked.

“There’s nothing there, no evidence that there’s _ever_ been anything there. Are you sure that you got the right place?”

“I was in there with Evans.” James muttered. “We had… well we had a nice moment. I’m not likely to forget where it was.”

“Are you sure that you didn’t imagine it?” Peter asked, leaning closer to look at the map.

“I _didn’t_ imagine it.” James hissed, their amused expressions were infuriating. The portrait swung open and Sirius returned from his detention. 

“What’s going on?” He asked dropping into the chair opposite James’s. 

“James is losing his mind.” Remus shrugged, turning the page of his book.

“I’m not losing my mind.” James snapped, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, maybe I’m losing my mind.”

Sirius looked between them and took the map from James. “What do you mean, what’s happened?”

“There’s was a room, on the seventh floor, opposite that ballet tapestry— a dance studio, which makes sense right? And now it’s not there. Evans was using it, I was in there with Evans, and I went back to add it to the map and it’s not there.”

“He _thinks_ he was in there with Evans.” Peter grinned. James glared at him. “We’re just saying, we went there too, there’s no room, are you sure this wasn’t a dream you had?”

“No, no, let’s be honest here…” Sirius smirked. “If he was dreaming about being a room with Lily Evans, there’s going to be a bed there right?”

“Fuck all of you. I was awake, I know what I saw, and I know where I was…well, I thought I knew where I was.” James snapped, snatching back the map.

“Oh hi Lily!” Sirius called, looking towards the girls dormitories. James spun around, his face growing hot. But it was only Marley. He sunk miserably back into the chair. 

“Can’t sleep?” Sirius asked, as Marlene settled herself down in the same chair as him. “Look at this, you’re just all leg, aren’t you? It’s ridiculous.”

“Are you complaining about that?” Marlene asked before kissing him, James rolled his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood to watch Sirius and Marley start making out right in front of him.

“Not even a little bit.” Sirius laughed.

“Marley, have you been to Evans’s dance room?” He asked, it was worth a shot, but mostly he just wanted to remind them that they weren’t actually alone. 

“No, she’s mentioned it but I've never been there. Why?”

“James has been dreaming, he thinks there’s a room opposite that tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy but there’s nothing there.” Remus laughed, James glared at him.

“I was not dreaming.” James insisted, his temper starting to rise. It was late, and he was tired, and he was sick of their teasing now.

“Alright, calm down. Me and Marley will go and check it out now. Can we borrow your cloak?” Sirius asked, sliding Marlene off of his lap and standing up.

“And have you feeling my sister up underneath it—”

“Jamie.” Marlene warned.

“Fine, fine.” James muttered, getting up and crossing to the boys’ dormitory. He let the door slam behind him. He was starting to worry that he _had_ imagined it, that it _had_ been a dream. And if that was the case, that would mean that she hadn’t actually admitted that she fancied him, that she hadn’t actually asked him to wait for her. 

_No._ It had been real. Lily Evans liked him, and he wasn’t going to let his idiot friends convince him otherwise.


	4. Lily denying that she fancies James

**November 1976**

Lily’s brow furrowed as she tried to thread the cotton through eye of her needle. There had to be a spell for this surely. There was also probably a spell for sewing, but she had to put a lot of faith in her pointe shoes so she made every alteration to them herself and by hand. Eventually she pulled the cotton through and settled back against her pillows to sew. 

“What are you doing?” Marlene asked, pulling back the curtains around Lily’s bed and settling herself at the other end. Lily clicked her tongue, Marlene could _see_ what she was doing, clearly she wanted to talk about something else.

“Repairing my ballet shoes.” She said, humouring her.

“I was in the library earlier… you and Jamie looked awfully close.” Marlene said. Lily didn’t look up from her work but she could hear the grin in Marlene’s voice. Her heart started to pound, wondering just how much Marlene had seen… there was no way she could have spotted that James’d had his hand on her thigh. 

“He was helping me with my Charms homework.” Lily said much too quickly. It was true… technically, but it wasn’t the whole truth. Her cheeks flared at the thought. She could still feel his hand inching up her leg, still feel his breath tickling her neck. It had taken every ounce of self control she had not to pull him into a dark corner of the castle somewhere.

“Lils, do you fancy Jamie?” Marlene asked. Lily pushed the needle through the shoe and straight into her thumb.

“Ouch!” She hissed, blood pooling to the surface. Glaring at Marlene she put her thumb in her mouth. A little warning would have been nice. She fancied James Potter like mad, fancied his socks off — the rest of his clothes too actually — but she wasn’t exactly ready to volunteer that information to her friends just yet, not when she’d spent so long declaring her dislike for him and calling him and arrogant toe rag. 

“No.” She said firmly. “I do not fancy James. He’s just very good at Charms.” Marlene raised her eyebrows and Lily knew that she didn’t believe her for a second, and then her friend frowned. “Is this the part where you tell me to stay away from your brother?” Lily asked, amused. Marlene McKinnon: James Potter’s greatest defender.

“Just don’t lead him on, alright?” Marlene warned. “He’s mad about you and I’m worried that he’s going to get hurt.”

“Marley, look, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I don’t fancy him, he knows that. We were just studying.” Lily insisted, obviously she hadn’t seen anything except how closely they’d been sitting or she definitely brought it up in the case against her. She hated lying to Marlene like this, but she and James were exploring whatever this was between them, and it would be so much easier to do without prying and interference from their well meaning friends. 

“Alright, if you insist.” Marlene said, though she didn’t sound particularly convinced.


	5. Baking

**August 1977**

Lily stared through glass of the oven door, her brow furrowed. She’d been quite surprised at the Potters’ kitchen, for pure bloods it was very Muggle. “It’s not rising.” She said, clicking her tongue in frustration.

“Because you’re staring at it.” James grinned, tugging her away. She let out a small scream of surprise as he gripped her waist and lifted her onto the kitchen counter. 

“I don’t think that’s how ovens work… Have you ever even used one before?” Lily challenged, reaching for the mixing bowl so that she could eat the excess cake mix.

“Well no.” James admitted, he dipped his finger into the mix and touched it to the tip of Lily’s nose. Lily extended her tongue to try and reach it, but it was a skill she’d never possessed. “Are you sure you got the recipe right?” He asked, glancing through the oven door himself.

“I have no idea, I’ve never done any baking before.” Lily shrugged. 

“What do you mean? You said you wanted to help.” James said, licking the spoon.

“Yeah, I wanted to help, I wanted to spend the day with you. But I’ve never baked anything in my life.” Lily said.

“But you know how to sew!”

Lily snorted and rolled her eyes. “What does that have to do with anything! You’re excellent at cutting hair. But neither of our skills have anything to do with baking your mother a birthday cake.”

James opened his mouth for a moment and closed it again. “You’ve got me there… Well, if it doesn’t work then we’ll buy one and pretend that you’re an excellent baker. She’ll never believe us if we say it’s me.” He said, kissing the chocolate off of her nose, before moving down to her lips. 

“Wait.” She said, pulling back rather reluctantly. “Your parents are definitely out all day?” The last thing she wanted was for them to walk in while she and James were all over each other in the kitchen.

“They won’t be home until this evening.” James promised, as Lily reached up to dust some flour from his hair.

“And Sirius?” She asked.

“At the McKinnons… Their house has Marlene, I can’t see him rushing back, can you?” He asked trailing some chocolate mix along her jaw before kissing it away and running his hands over her thighs. Lily wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her. She pushed the bowl off of her lap and it clattered to the floor, she’d clean it up later, right now all she cared about was how deeply James was kissing her, how desperately she wanted to tear his clothes off. 

James slid his hands up her skirt and found the waistband of her knickers. Lily lifted herself up so he could pull them down. At some point she was going to have to unhook her legs but she wasn’t sure she could convince herself to let go of him long enough.

Then they heard the cough.

Both froze, and Lily wasn’t sure how long for. She broke away looking over James’s shoulder. Sirius was stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame and grinning like a fucking idiot.

“Well, well, well.” Sirius said. James pressed his forehead against Lily’s shoulder, and she wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or to hide his laughter. “As much as I approve, do you think you could move it to the bedroom? I eat my breakfast in here.”


	6. In the Forbidden Forest

**September 1977**

_Lily,_

_Meet me in the Forbidden Forrest at 9pm, the clearing off the path behind the pumpkin patch._

_James._

There was a hesitancy in his ‘J’ and Lily had a funny feeling that he’d be about to sign off ‘Love, James.’ Her heart fluttered slightly at the thought. Was James Potter in love with her? It was almost enough to squash the annoyance at his cryptic request. 

At half eight she made her way through the castle and out into the grounds. She was glad that she'd left early, because it was proving rather difficult to find the clearing in question. _Shocking_ , Lily thought irritably, _what with his very clear instructions._

“ _Lumos_.” She muttered, shining her wand across the dark path as the trees around her thickened. What was James thinking? She hated wandering around the forrest by herself. She wasn’t _afraid_ … but acromantula could get fucking huge, and she didn’t fancy running into one of them. Lily jumped at the sound of cracking branches and she spun around, wand raised. A white unicorn darted away into the darkness. She clutched her chest in relief. She was going to kill James. 

Eventually she found the clearing, she stepped out into the faint moonlight, wand still raised, listening hard. What if the letter hadn’t really been from James? After a few minutes of straining her ears, the silence was replaced by the sound of more hooves crushing the twigs that covered the forest floor. She’d expected the unicorn again, maybe a centaur or a thestral, but instead a majestic stag broke through the trees. 

Lily stared at it, lowering her still lit wand. It was James. She couldn’t explain how she knew this. She could just feel it in her soul. 

“I think you have a bit of explaining to do, Potter.” She said, shaking her head, surprised at how calm her voice sounded. The stag stopped his advance, staring back at her, before turning back into her boyfriend.

“How did you know it was me? I had this whole thing planned!” He whined. “You were supposed to be shocked!”

“When the fuck did you become an Animagus? Are you completely insane?” Lily asked, the second question was rhetorical, clearly he was insane. There was _no way_ that the Ministry had approved this. 

“It took a while, finally managed it the first day of fifth year.” James grinned, sounding so proud of himself. Lily’s lip twitched as she tried to fight a smile. That was incredibly impressive, reckless and stupid, but ridiculously impressive. Seeming to decide that it was save to approach, James stepped forward and took her hands.

“You did this all by yourself?” She asked.

“I— Yes.” He was lying, not that she thought he was doing it maliciously, but he was lying.

“Sirius and Peter?” She asked. Remus was a werewolf, she didn’t even know if they _could_ become Animagi. James looked away and she took that as a yes. “Aren’t you worried that I’m going to report you?” She laughed, not that she ever would.

“No, I trust you completely.” James said seriously. Lily swallowed, the intensity of his gaze made her melt. She cleared her throat, trying to ignore the fact that she'd stepped so close to him that their bodies were now touching.

“I can’t believe Marlene didn’t tell me— though, I guess if _you_ swore her to secrecy…” Lily knew that she would always come second to James in Marlene’s life. 

“Actually, Marley doesn’t know.” James mumbled, pain darkening his expression. “I want to tell her, Sirius wants to tell her, but we’ve left it too long, lied to her for too long. She’ll never speak to us again.” 

Lily reached up to touch his cheek. “Oh James.” She breathed. “Of course she will, she loves you so much, you’re her brother. She’s going to be furious but she’ll get over it.” 

“Yeah, yeah maybe.” James muttered. Lily searched around for something to try and distract him. 

“I guess ‘Prongs’ makes sense.” She grinned, running a hand through his dark hair. James laughed, the sound rumbling in his chest. 

“Are you sufficiently impressed by my magical prowess?” He asked, his smirk telling her that he already knew that she was. 

“I’m finding myself impressed by a lot of things you can do.” Lily said, her eyes flicking down to his lips as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He must have caught her, because the next thing she knew, he was kissing her.


	7. First Kiss

**October 1976**

It had been the fumes from the Amortentia that had given her the courage. Well, that was what she’d told herself. Of course, logic dictated that their potions lesson had been hours ago and it had long since worn off. James had been waiting for her, she’d had to supervise the first years.

“Want to take a walk?” He asked. Lily nodded and they set off through the castle in silence, neither really having a destination in mind. 

“Is this you checking up on me? Because you’ve not actually said anything.” Lily murmured after a while. 

“I didn’t want to push it.” James grinned. “But alright then, how are you holding up?” 

They’d stopped at the bottom of the Divination corridor, and Lily settled herself down on the low ledge under the spiral staircase. James sat beside her. There was something so easy in his smile, so open. He genuinely cared. “I’m alright, a few nightmares but nothing I can’t handle.” She was better here, there were a lot of distractions. “I just hate that I couldn’t do anything to stop it, to save him… I know you know what that feels like.” 

James reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear; there was something so natural in the gesture that Lily wasn’t even sure he’d realised he’d done it.

“I know.” He said quietly. 

“Really, I’m okay.” She smiled. She was doing better than she had been a few weeks ago, better since she’d opened up, told him what had happened to her over the summer. 

“Good.” James said, and they fell once more into that peaceful quiet. Lily was no longer pretending that she didn’t find him attractive. With his messy hair, cocky smile and perfect jaw… and she’d seen him topless at the McKinnons, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he had the body to match, he’d always been athletic. 

“Potions was interesting today.” She said casually, and was pleased to see that his cheeks turned slightly pink. 

“I didn’t know it would have that affect on me.” James said sheepishly. He’d gone and blurted out what he could smell, and Lily had been overcome with giggles when one of his things had been lilies. 

“Don’t worry. The fact that you fancy me is hardly news to anyone.” She grinned. He was being very good at waiting for her to ask him out, he’d not pushed the subject once yet… though it had only been a few weeks since she’d made him promise. There was still time for him to grow impatient yet. 

“What do you smell?” He asked, a hopefulness laced into the curiosity. “I was waiting for you to speak up in the lesson but you kept infuriatingly quiet.” His face was so close to his now that she could just move a fraction of an inch and kiss him. “Tell me.” He breathed. Lily trailed her fingers over his forearm. He’d pushed his sleeves up to his elbows. She felt goosebumps rise beneath her fingertips. 

James was so close, and they were so alone in the quiet. She’d smelled books, a roaring fire, and “You.” She whispered, tilting her head and pressing her lips to his. James wrapped his arm around her and the world around them seemed to disappear. Nothing mattered right now but her and James and this kiss. 

“You can’t tell anyone about that.” She said as they walked back down the seventh floor corridor towards the Fat Lady. 

“Not if you don’t want me to.” James promised. 

“And don’t assume I’m going to be kissing you every chance I get.” She added, though this felt like a huge lie. Lily wasn’t sure how she was going to stop herself. “This was a one off, for now anyway—”

“A taste of what dating you will be like?” James smirked. 

“Shut up, Potter.” She said, it was her turn to blush.


	8. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't think of anything for the originally intended prompt from [MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld/pseuds/MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld), but she gave me this one instead!

**April 1978**

Lily checked her watch as she raced down the marble staircase. There was only a five minutes until the bell and she’d not had breakfast yet. She hadn’t meant to lose track of time, she’d gotten up early to dance and and the next thing she knew it was almost time for Charms. She hurried along the Gryffindor table to where James was waiting. 

“There you are.” He said, handing her a cup of tea as she perched on the edge of the bench. 

“Have I mentioned that I love you?” She grinned, before taking a large gulp of tea. 

“I also saved you some toast.” He laughed. Lily planted a kiss on his cheek and took a bite. She was starving this morning. “You can inhale it if you want, I promise I won’t judge you.” He said. At this Lily finished it off in two more bites, barely taking the time to chew. 

“You’re so hot.” James smirked. 

“Oh, shut up.” She muttered, draining her mug. The bell rang and Lily got up. “Everyone else already gone?” She asked as they joined the stragglers leaving the Great Hall. 

“Remus, Peter, Dorcas and Mary have.” James said, as they made their way to the third floor corridor. “I don’t know where Sirius and Marlene are.” Lily was willing to hazard a guess. “I need to talk about something with you later.” He suddenly sounded so serious and Lily’s heart began to race. _Oh god_ , she thought. She glanced over at him.

“What is it?” She asked, dreading the answer. 

“Later—” 

“Look, if you’re going to end it, I’d rather you didn’t drag it out.” She sounded panicked and she hated that, he must be able to hear it. 

“End it? What, no! Lily you’re insane! Turn around.” He said, and she realised that he was no longer walking beside her. Lily turned and James was in the middle of the Charms corridor, down on one knee. 

“What the fuck are you doing? Get up.” She mumbled, people around them had stopped to watch. The silence was rippling down the hallway.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He asked, taking a little red velvet box out of his pocket. 

“It looks like you’re being an idiot.” She muttered, trying not to let the excitement get the better of her. If this was a wind-up then she was going to kill him. “Are you being serious right now?”

“No, I’m being James.” There was a quiet titter of laughter from the onlookers. He was such an idiot. “I wanted to ask you on Saturday, when I got the ring, but it was April Fools day and you never would have believed me—”

“I’m not sure I believe you now!” She she said, dragging a shaking hand through her hair. James grinned and flipped the little box open. The ring was beautiful, simple but elegant. The diamond sparkled up at her and someone squealed before it was quickly stifled. She sort of wished that he hadn’t done it in front of everyone. 

“Lily Evans, I love you. I have loved you for so long, I didn’t even realise what was happening. It has only ever been you. Will you marry me?” James asked.

“But we have Charms!” She cried before she could stop herself. James snorted. 

“I don’t mean right this second!” He laughed. “But I’m asking you to marry me. This isn’t a joke, or a bet, or a dare. This is a real proposal. I want to marry you, I want to be your husband. I don’t care if I have to wait until the end of first period, or the school year, or fifty years!” 

Lily bit her lip, trying very hard not to smile. More and more she’d been fantasising about marrying James Potter, and what a marvellous life they could have. “James.” She breathed. Someone watching shouted for her to say yes, and he gestured wildly in the direction of the voice.

“I’m going to stay right here until you give me an answer, I don’t care how long it takes…but I will blame you if my knee disintegrates.” He was grinning, but there was a slight panic lacing his voice. He was worried that she was going to say 'no'. 

“You swear that this is real?” She asked, heart pounding.

“Cross my heart.” He said, making the accompanying hand motion.

“Yes.” She breathed. James’s face lit up and he was the most handsome that she had ever seen him. He got up and strode over to her, pulling her into his arms. Lily didn’t care that everyone was watching their kiss. She was going to _marry_ James Potter. They broke apart at the sound of a crash and looked around, it was so loud that it had cut across the cheers and wolf whistles. Severus had blasted a suit of armour across the corridor. He was glaring at them, so much hatred in his face. But Lily didn’t care. He would never be happy for her, and there was no use in trying. She tuned back to James and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you too.” She breathed.


	9. Lily introduces James to something Muggle

**August 1977**

James appeared with a pop in the flower bed in Lily’s back garden. He quickly jumped out and on the the patio, her parents would probably be pretty mad if he crushed them all. He crossed to the French doors and peered into her kitchen, spotting Lily making a cup of tea. He rapped his knuckles on the glass and Lily jumped, sending water flying everywhere… Maybe he should have gone round the front and rang the bell. She’d sworn, he could read her lips. He loved it when she swore. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked, opening the door to let him in. 

“I came to see if you wanted to hang out?” He asked. That was part of it, the other part was that he’d been able to hear Marlene and Sirius having sex and he’d just had to get out of the house. Lily bit her lip. 

“Actually I was just going out.” She said, and he noticed the scarf for her football team draped around her neck. 

“Oh yeah, Saturday afternoon. Football with your dad.” She’d told him that once. He took her to ballet in the mornings — though James suspected that she now took herself — and they went to the match in the afternoons.

“I… You remember that?” She asked, raising her eyebrows. 

“I remember a lot of things that you’ve told me.” He shrugged. Mainly because he’d spent years hanging off of every word she’s ever said around him. Lily smiled.

“I’m going by myself, Dad’s not feeling well… oh he’ll be fine.” She added quickly. “He’s just being dramatic. It’s a fucking cold but he’s acting like he’s been shot. I’m just taking this tea up to him and then I’m off. Mum and Tuney are wedding dress shopping. I’d have gone with them but she insisted that I not be there.” Lily said, her face falling slightly before she quickly hitched the smile back up.

“Bitch.” James muttered. 

“Do you want— No, never mind.” She shrugged. 

“No, go on?” James asked curiously. 

“I was going to ask if you want Dad’s ticket, but I’m not going to sit and listen to you whinge for ninety minutes.” Lily laughed. “I’ll be right back.” She said before carrying the mug from the kitchen. 

He could go to a football match, he was sure that it would be shit, but he could behave himself for Lily. And she loved it so much… He could probably behave himself, definitely keep his mocking to the absolute minimum. Anything to spend time with her. 

“I’ll come with you. I’ll be on my best behaviour, I’ve never actually watched a football match before.” He said when she returned.

“You sure?” She asked, and he could hear a slight hopefulness in her voice. She wanted to spend time with him too.

“I might even enjoy it.” He lied. 

“Alright then.” She grinned, picking the red and blue scarf off the counted top. She draped it round his neck and used it to pull him closer for a kiss. “Come on.” She said, taking his hand and leading him out of the front door. 

“So we’re supporting Aston Villa right?” He asked, wanting to make sure he got the name of the team right. 

“Correct.” She said, and he saw the corner of her mouth twitch up, amused that he seemed to be trying. 

“And who are we playing?” 

“Everton.” She must live fairly near the pitch because they seemed to be walking, unless they were walking to the train station.

“What if I decide I like them better?” James teased, he doubted that he would, he doubted that he would like either team. 

“I’ll fancy you a little bit less.” She promised pleasantly. “But at least we’re not playing West Brom today, if you decided you liked them better, I’d never speak to you again.”

“I have heard they’re quite good…” James grinned, letting go of her hand and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

“Oh shut up.” She snapped, but she was grinning. 

“So is it really only ninety minutes long?” He asked, that didn’t seem like nearly enough for how much Muggles were mad for it.

“Well, there’s a little break halfway through, but yeah. I mean sometimes it goes slightly longer, but just by a few minutes.” She explained.

“But what if no one scores?” He asked, that seemed highly unlikely, but if the game had a time limit that had to be a possibility.

“Oh that happens all the time.” Lily said. “Occasionally, depending on what the match is for, it might go to penalties. But usually, if no one scores it’s just a draw.” She looked at him, almost daring him to make a nasty comment, but he bit his tongue. This was the most stupid game he’d ever heard of. 

James would never admit that he’d actually had fun. The game was absolutely as stupid as he’d imagined it would be… and slow too, but he had been spoiled by how fast Quidditch was. Though he supposed it wasn’t the Muggles’ fault that they had to run and not fly. But the atmosphere had been what had made it enjoyable… That and watching Lily jumping around and screaming her team on. 

“What did you think?” She asked, as they followed the sea of supporters in the direction of what James suddenly realised were the local pubs. Well, this was part of the game he could get on board with.

“Do your team always loose?” He grinned, though he said it quietly because he wasn’t sure that comment would go down too well with everyone they were surrounded by.

“Fuck off.” Lily muttered, shaking her head. “We don’t _always_ lose. We _should_ have won today, well, drawn at least.” 

“But you didn’t.” 

“Fuck off.” She said again, but she was smiling despite her obvious annoyance and disappointment. 

“I just wish they had brooms, and more than one ball… How can you think this better than Quidditch?” He asked, he just didn’t understand.


	10. Emotional Hurt/Comfort

**July 1981**

_James,_  
_The McKinnons are dead. You don’t have the cloak. Stay where you are.  
Sirius _

James stared at the parchment. He didn’t understand. He read the letter again, hoping that this time it would say something different. Sirius’s words stared back at him. He could hardly read his handwriting. 

The McKinnons were dead. Marlene was dead.

“James, what’s wrong?” Lily’s voice sounded so far away, like she was speaking to him from above water.

“Put Harry to bed.” He found himself choking, harsher than he had meant to. There was so much concern in her voice, but he needed a minute to himself.

“James—”

“Lily, please.” He tore his eyes away from the letter, and when they met her’s, he knew that she’d seen the pain in his face. He saw her arms shaking as she picked Harry up and carried him upstairs.

Marlene was dead.

All the air seemed to have left his lungs and he doubled over. He couldn’t breathe, he was falling through nothingness, yet he could still feel the carpet under his bare feet.

The McKinnons were gone…Mr and Mrs McKinnon who had loved him so much. Jeremy, uptight, boring, stuck-up Jeremy, he couldn’t remember ever liking him but he’d never wanted this. He was part of his family. And Nicole; she was fifteen years old — still a child. His little Nik Nak. Bright, bold, trouble-making Nicole who had fancied the pants off Sirius, much to all of their amusement.

He didn’t hear Lily come back downstairs, but she was there, rubbing circles onto his back. It was the same way that she soothed Harry. Sirius’s letter was scrunched so tightly in his fist that he wasn’t sure how she managed to pull it free with out tearing the parchment. He tried to relax his hand but it didn’t seem to want to respond properly.

_Marley was dead._

She was his sister. His sister in every way that truly mattered. There hadn’t been a single day that she hadn’t been a part of his life, there hadn’t been a single day that he hadn’t loved her. He didn’t know how to live without Marley, she’d always been there. For longer than he could remember, Marlene McKinnon had been in his life. There was a hollowness forming in his chest, a dark hole that was growing so fast and so large that he was sure it would consume him. The space that Marlene had once occupied.

Lily read Sirius’s letter. The noise she made was inhuman. So loud and so raw that it tore through the room, and echoed inside James’s bones. James caught her around the waist just in time and she began to sob against his chest. He wanted to speak words of comfort but none came. How could he possibly put this into words? What could he possibly say to make Lily feel better when there was no better?

At some point he lifted Lily into his arms and carried her to their bedroom, but he couldn’t remember deciding to do so. He wanted to cry too, surely it would make him feel better to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. They seemed far beyond his grasp, this agony lay beyond the realm of tears.

Dawn was flooding through the window when Lily eventually fell asleep. He needed to go to Sirius. The thought of him sat alone with his grief was too unbearable…he’d just gone and bought a ring. But Sirius was right, he didn’t have the cloak. He should write to him, but he had no idea what to say.

Marlene McKinnon was dead. His brave, and brilliant, and beautiful sister. He’d lost people before…he’d lost his parents not long back. But this was different; Marlene was so alive, so indestructible…how did someone like Marley die at twenty-one? How could someone so full of life be ripped from the earth so suddenly—

The cat jumped up on the bed and started pawing at Lily. He wanted feeding. “Go away, Gary.” He muttered, nudging him back onto the floor with his foot. But the cat would not relent. He shifted carefully from underneath her, and proceeded downstairs, Gary trying to trip him up as he went.

He was choking on the lump in his throat as he moved about the kitchen.

The McKinnons were dead.

Harry woke up crying, he went to him quickly before the little boy could wake Lily up. How was he going to explain to a baby that his auntie was gone. He wouldn’t understand that. James hardly understood it.

The morning slipped by in a daze. Harry was agitated, even as he played, and it took James far longer than usual to feed him. James was getting snappy with him and he didn’t want that, this wasn’t his son's fault. Harry could just tell that there was something wrong with his daddy. 

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Lily asked leaning against the frame of the living room door. Her voice was hoarse and her eyes were red and puffy. 

“I’ll make it.” James said, hardly recognising his own voice.

“No, don’t be silly.” She murmured before disappearing into the kitchen. James sat back against the cushions, staring at the empty fireplace. They had long since had it disconnected from the Floo network, of course, but the idea that she would no longer just show up to see them, _to see him_ , was unbearable. “How are you doing?” James jumped as Lily touched his shoulder, and set the mugs down on the coffee table. She sat tentatively down beside him. 

He didn’t want to tell her that he wasn’t doing okay, that he didn’t know how he would ever be okay. “I…” And then something inside him snapped. Sobs ripped up his chest and he collapsed into her. Lily held him close and ran her fingers through his hair. He was upsetting Harry, he could hear him start up again with his own cries, but James couldn’t seem to stop. “I’ve never known a world without her in it.” 

“I’m sorry James,” Lily whispered. “I’m so sorry.”


	11. Domesticity

**July 1978**

“I still can’t believe you bought a house.” Lily said trying to sound irritated, watching him wash their plates in the sink by hand. She had been irritated when he’d blindfolded her that morning and told her that he had a surprise. The cottage was lovely, small and sweet, with a neat little garden. And she was sure that, come winter, the village of Godric’s Hollow would look like a Christmas card.

“Well, my parents bought a house. Anyway, you needed some where to live.” He shrugged. “I mean Marlene’s bed while she stays at Sirius’s is really only a short term solution.” Lily got up and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her forehead against his back. She still couldn’t believe that Petunia had just sold their family home without any warning. Dumped all her stuff at Kings Cross. It had been so cold. She’d said she needed the money for the Home their dad was now in…but to not even tell her! Lily didn’t have it in her to tell their dad what she’d done, it would only upset him. “I asked mum and dad to start looking for somewhere after your dad… you know. I was worried Petunia might do something like this.”

“Your parents decorated it beautifully.” Lily asked, looking around the pretty little kitchen.

“Actually, Mr McKinnon picked all the furniture out.” James laughed, turning in her arms and drying his hands on the back of her t-shirt.

“James!” She squirmed, but he grabbed hold of her. 

“If you want, I can go back to my parents, you know, until after the wedding, we don’t have to live together right away, not if you think it’s too soon.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re a gentleman, but you're being ridiculous.” Lily laughed, pulling away to top up their wine glasses. 

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’ll still pop over for a shag.” He smirked, picking up his glass and following her into the living room.

“I take back the gentleman compliment.” Lily grinned, sitting down and putting her feet up in his lap. “I want you to move in here too.” She didn’t want to live here by herself, she’d only been here a day and if felt like _their_ home. James beamed. 

“I carried all your bags up stairs, I could have just waved my wand but no, I carried them.” James said and Lily rolled her eyes. 

“Such a gentleman.” She said, getting up and holding out her hand. “Come on, you can help me unpack.” 

“I can think of something more fun to do…” James smirked, letting her pull him to his feet. Lily bit back a smile, as they made their way upstairs. It was a tempting suggestion. 

“Maybe I’ll reward you for a job well done.” She grinned, setting her glass down on the bedside table and opening one of her bags. Though with that as an incentive she could probably just sit back and watch James work.


	12. An Order Mission

**January 1979**

Lily couldn’t believe how quickly everything had gone disastrously wrong. It had been fucking surveillance. It shouldn’t have even needed two people, she’d only insisted on going with James because he’d lent Sirius his cloak. 

Now they were running for their lives. 

The forest they’d tried to escape through was thick, dark. She could barely see a foot in front of her. She couldn't apparate away, not until she found James again. She couldn’t leave him. Something caught her around the ankle and she flew forwards. Her head collided with with a branch and everything went black. 

“Lily. Lily, wake up.” James whispered. Lily’s head throbbed painfully as she opened her eyes. She tried to lift her hand to it but she couldn’t move her arms. She looked at James and he was bound, as she was, in a chair beside hers. 

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“Don’t worry about me. You’re bleeding.” He said sharply. 

“I fell, hit my head.” She said, she could feel the blood running down the side of her face. She looked around the room, the walls were stone, lit by lamps, and there were no windows. The stairs opposite her made her think that they were underground. “Have you seen them?”

“Yeah, that weedy bloke we were following, Wilkes. And I don’t recognise the other, sort of looks like a troll.” James muttered.

“They sound like a dream team.” Lily said, and James let out a laugh before quickly stifling it. 

“Don’t, this isn’t funny.” He said quickly, but despite his worry, despite the seriousness of the situation, the corners of his mouth seemed to be trying to prick upwards. “I think Mulciber is here too, I thought I could hear him talking upstairs.” He added. Lily gritted her teeth. She wasn’t surprised, per se, but it was still so disturbing to think their classmate, someone they had grown up with, could do this. 

“Almost three months married, do you think the people betting against still get the money if we die rather than divorce?” She asked. “I was hoping for a little longer being Mrs Potter.” 

“ _Lily_.” James hissed. “Stop it, we’re going to be fine. I sent Marlene a Patronus, I don’t know if I planted the message right though, or if we’re even still anywhere near that forest. But I’m going to get us out of this.” He promised. She wanted to tell him not to make promises that he couldn’t keep, but it got caught in her throat.

“I really love you, James. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved.” She said quietly. She needed him to know that, if they were going to die down here she needed him to know that. 

“Yeah, you can tell me that when we get home.” He said. “You’re more flexible than I am, can you wriggle free at all?” 

Lily tried moving her arms and legs, twisting her body in every direction, but she couldn’t slip out of the ropes. She froze at the sound of a door opening, and then the Death Eaters descended the stairs. James was right, the other one really did look like a troll, maybe a little shorter. 

“Evans, Potter.” Mulciber said pleasantly. “It really is rude to sneak around spying on people.” 

“I wouldn’t expect a Mudblood to have manners.” Wilkes said, and spat at her. Lily didn’t flinch but James let out a stream of curses, struggling against his bindings. 

“I think we could teach her some.” Mulciber grinned, running the tip of his wand along her collar bone. “ _Crucio!_ ”

Lily screamed as agony flooded through every inch of her body. It was no easier than it had been the last time. They lifted the curse and Lily slumped forwards, her breath coming out in short gasps. She looked up at James, his face was white. 

“Who should we kill first?” Wilkes asked, pointing his wand at James.

“You can’t kill him!” Lily said desperately. “He’s a pure-blood! It’s not like there’s a lot of you left.”

“Lily, shut up.” James snapped. 

“He’s a Blood Traitor.” Wilkes snarled, pointing at the rings on Lily’s finger and turning his wand back on James. “He married you! _Cru_ —”

“Wait!” Lily said desperately, she needed to protect him. He’d never experienced the horrors of that curse and she wanted to keep it that way. “Please, don’t hurt him. Do whatever to me, I don’t care, but please, leave him alone.”

“ _Lily!_ ” 

Mulciber was smiling, a horrid, nasty little smile. “I could make your husband kill you, I’ve always had a fondness for the Imperius curse. Slowly of course, got to make it worth the effort.”

“I will fucking kill you.” James snarled, but Lily could hear the panic in his voice. “Do you think we came here without anyone knowing? The Order will be here at any second, do you really want to hang around for them?” 

Lily didn’t miss the worried look that Wilkes and Mulciber shared. “Go and keep an eye out.” Wilkes said to the Troll — Lily didn’t know what else to call him. The Death Eater stumped back up the stairs, and Wilkes tuned back to her. “ _Crucio!_ ” He smiled. Lily didn’t care, as long as it kept them from James she didn’t care. Again and again he hit her with the curse. Lily wanted to die. Just let them kill her, get it over with. 

She could hear James shouting, pleading, the sickening pop of his shoulder dislocating. And then the deafening crash of an explosion above them.

“Marley.” James breathed, his voice full of relief. Footsteps of the Order thundered down the stairs, and cutting their losses, Mulciber and Wilkes disapparated. They were joined but Marlene, Dorcas, Frank and Alice and Lily closed her eyes. They were safe. James was safe.


	13. After the Order Mission

**January 1979**

James had lost the battle to take Lily to St Mungo’s. She could be so fucking stubborn. Lily had been worrying quiet while James had passed on everything they had found out to Frank, he could convey it all to Dumbledore for them — they’d answer any questions tomorrow, right now he just wanted to take his wife home. 

It was dawn by the time he helped Lily across the threshold of their cottage. “I’m fine, James.” She mumbled shrugging him off. Alice had healed the cut on her head, at least. Though maybe he should wake her up every so often? He really wished she’d let him take her to St Mungo’s. 

“Take a shower with me?” She asked softly, taking his hand and tugging him towards the stairs. He never needed her to ask him that twice. He turned on the water to let it warm up before hooking his fingers under the hem of her top and pulling it off over her head. They undressed each other, but it didn’t feel like all the other times. It was more raw, more intimate. And, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he felt so fragile... like he could shatter at any moment. 

Hearing Lily scream like that had been worse than anything he could have imagined. 

The shower wasn’t really built for two people. She elbowed him in the jaw as she tried to wash her hair. “Sorry.” She laughed. Her laugh was so beautiful.

“Here let me.” James grinned, taking over. As small as it was, he’d happily spend the rest of his life in this shower with her. He trailed his thumb down her spine and placed a kiss on her shoulder. 

“James.” She breathed as he slid his hand round to her front and down between her legs. She spun in his arms and kissed him. Kissed him like they had all most died. James lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist, and pressed her against the shower wall as he pushed into her. They’d never had sex like this before. There was an urgency, a desperation. He couldn’t get close enough, her nails were cutting into his back. 

And then she was sobbing into his shoulder. 

James set her down, startled, and took a step back. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. She shook her head and closed the small distance between them once more. James held her close as she cried, the water masking his own tears. Eventually, he turned off the water and wrapped her in a towel. 

When she’d gone to fetch pyjamas for them he gripped hold of the sink, swaying slightly where he stood. He needed to sleep but he couldn’t face it right now. They sound of her screaming was echoing around his skull, he couldn’t close his eyes, the image of her writhing in agony was burned into his mind. They would have made him kill her, torture her, what if he hadn’t been able to throw off the Imperius curse? The thought of it rolled his stomach, and he retched.

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Lily asked quietly, appearing in the doorway, and handing him his pyjamas. She’d already changed into hers. They should go to bed, but it didn’t look like she wanted to anymore than he did. 

“I’ll make it.” He murmured, pulling on his pyjamas and going down to the kitchen. He carried the mugs into the living room. Lily was watching the Muggle television that he’d bought her so she could watch the football matches that she couldn’t attend… though he would never admit that that was the reason. 

“Thanks.” She said, taking her mug and shifting to lean against him while they watched the news. 

“I love you, Lily. You’re the only woman I’ve ever been in love with.” He said against her wet hair.


	14. Flying Lesson

**September 1971**

Lily had absolutely no interest in learning how to fly, yet their first flying lesson had been all Marlene had talked about all week. It was alright for her, she’d grown up going out on a broom, but Lily had no idea what she was supposed to do.

“You’ll be great, Evans.” James said, but the smile she returned was more of a grimace — she wasn’t sure if that was from the nerves or that she wasn’t used to smiling at James. Madam Hooch instructed them to line up by the brooms that she had set out for them on the pitch. She tried to catch Severus’s eye but he was talking to Avery. She should have asked him for some tips… or even Marlene, Marlene definitely would have helped her.

Madam Hooch waited for quiet and said “stick your right hand over your broom and shout ‘up!’”

“Up!” Lily shouted. The broom didn’t move at all. She looked around, both Marlene and James were holding their brooms with self-satisfied looks on their faces.

“You sure that Mudblood friend of yours is really a witch?” Avery snorted to Severus, brandishing his broom in her direction just in case there was any doubt as to who he was talking about. Lily felt her cheeks turn pink. She _was_ a witch — she didn’t want to fly the stupid broom anyway. 

“Oi!” James snarled, pulling out his wand, and she saw that Marlene had done the same. 

“Avery, wait for me in my office!” Madam Hooch snapped.

“But Miss!” Avery complained, but threw his broom away and stormed back towards the castle at the look on her face. 

“Try again, Evans.” James said kindly. “You just need to be a bit more confident.” It was easy for him to say, from what Marlene had been telling her they’d gone out on them every Sunday morning. 

“Up!” Lily shouted, it rolled over but stayed firmly on the ground. She could hear the Slytherins sniggering. “Up!” She shouted again, it shuddered for a moment before jumping into her hand. Madam Hooch demonstrated how to mount the brooms, and corrected the grips of those who need it. 

“You’re going to fall off.” She heard Marlene warn Sirius. 

“Am not.” He hissed back.

“You will, just put your hand back where Madam Hooch told you to.” Marlene muttered. Lily quickly looked down at her own hands. She’d moved them because it didn’t feel natural, and now she couldn’t remember where they were supposed to go. 

“Help?” She whispered to James. She was loath to ask him of all people, but if she had to call Madam Hooch back then the Slytherins would hear her. James set down his own broom and gently took hold of her wrists, moving her hands into the right position. “It feels weird.” She mumbled.

“You’ll get used to it.” He promised. “It's just new to you.” 

“Thanks, Potter.” She mumbled.

“Now, when I’ve blown my whistle I want you to kick off hard, rise a few feet, then tilt your broom downwards to return to the ground.” Madam Hooch instructed. At the sound of the whistle Lily kicked off. She didn’t like it, not one bit. She rose a couple of feet, and then quickly pointed her broom down. The sooner she was off it the better. There was a small thud as Sirius toppled forwards onto the grass. Looking slightly surprised he grinned around at them all, before turning to Marlene.

“Fine.” He shrugged. “I defer to your expertise.” 

As she dismounted, Lily noticed that the Slytherins hadn’t laughed at him. She wasn’t sure if it was that they didn’t dare, or if a pure-blood not being that good on the broom directly countered the insult that had just been levelled at her. Probably the former, Sirius seemed likely to just hex them. 

“That was good.” James beamed at her.

“I hated every second of it, but thanks for the help.” She grinned.


	15. Prank Gone Wrong

**December 1976**

Lily had almost given up looking for James, she’d tried everywhere she could think of inside, and had been about to return to the common room when she spotted him down in the courtyard. She hurried down a small stone staircase and out into the snowy evening. 

“Hi.” Lily whispered, standing beside the bench he was sitting on. “Can I sit?” He nodded and she sat down beside him. She shivered in the cold and wrapped her arms around herself.

“You’re not wearing a coat.” He murmured. 

“I didn’t think you’d have sat outside in the snow.” She smiled, he didn’t sound angry, that was something at least. “You don’t really think there’s anything going on with me and Sirius do you?” 

“You looked pretty cozy in bed together.” He said, she watched him dig the toe of his shoe moodily into the snow. Lily rolled her eyes. James was being stupid, she liked Sirius but that was all.

“You’re insane.” Lily sighed. “And we weren’t _in_ his bed. He was just lonely, he misses you so much, and he’s so sorry.” 

James took off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. Lily hugged it close, gratefully. “I just don’t understand how he could have done that—”

“Don’t you? I’m not saying what he did was right, but Severus could have killed Marley, are you honestly telling me that you never considered trying to get even?” Lily asked, she’d been a little surprised that he hadn’t done anything about it himself. James ran his hand through his hair. 

“This is different! It was a big joke to him, and he _used_ Remus to try and hurt Snivellus.” James snapped. “You weren’t down there, you don’t know how close it was. Remus never would have forgiven himself if he’d killed us. His life would have been over.”

“I know.” Lily murmured, sliding her hand down his arm and into his. She’d been trying desperately not to think about how close it probably _had_ been, Remus would have been completely destroyed, and the idea of losing James, as much as she was only reluctantly willing to admit it, was unbearable. “Sirius loves you and Remus so much… he just made a mistake.”

“I know.” James sighed. “I never thought I’d see the day that Lily Evans was coming to me plead Sirius Black’s case. There was a time you’d have been on Snivellus’s side of all this.”

“Yeah, well, he also called me a Mudblood—” 

“Don’t.” James said quickly cutting her off. “I suppose you can change your mind, you called me an ‘arrogant, bullying toerag’ and now you’re holding my hand.” 

“I am sorry about that.” Lily said, placing a kiss on his shoulder. She’d meant it at the time, as good and kind as she knew, even then, that he could be, he had been acting terribly to Snape that day.

“It was deserved… though the ‘stupid Snitch’ comment hurt.” He grinned. 

“I’ll make it up to you later.” She laughed. She actually did feel awful about that one, she’d been the one to give it to him and then she’d gone and thrown it back in his face. 

“So you and Sirius, huh?” He asked. He was an idiot if he thought that there was anything going on between them, she hadn’t seen their friendship coming, but that was all it was.

“You have nothing to worry about though. I fancy _you_.” Lily said, it still turned her cheeks warm to say it, but as much as she’d tried to deny it, especially last year, there was no escaping the fact that she was ridiculously attracted to James Potter.

“I’m sorry, I missed that, can you say it again?” He teased.

“I fancy you, James Potter.” She grinned.

“The giant squid will be disappointed.” He said. She knew that she was going to have to eat her words on that one, at some point she would be ready to ask James out… she just didn’t know when that would be yet. Right now, things were easier, she could go along pretending that they were just friends, that these secret kisses weren’t happening. She’d spent so long publicly declaring that she didn’t like him, but eventually she was going to have to hold her hands up and admit that she’d been full of shit on that one.

“The giant squid will get over it.” She said, tilting his chin and kissing him softly.


	16. Lily Asks James Out

**September 1977**

“I still can’t believe Dumbledore made you Head Boy.” Lily said, shaking her head as they walked along the seventh floor corridor. She didn’t _mind_ , obviously, but he hadn’t even been a prefect. There had been uproar in the prefects’ carriage that morning, and James had seemed to enjoy every second of the chaos. 

“He said I had showed the right character.” James grinned. “I guess he wasn’t here all those days I was being an absolute prick.” 

“Well, you saved Severus last year, and before that you did try to save Babworth…” James’s grip on her hand tightened, she knew that he didn’t like to talk about the latter. “You might have been a bit of a prick here and there, but you’re a good man.” 

They stopped when they reached the Fat Lady and Lily grabbed his other hand, turning him to face her. “I know, I know. I won’t tell anyone about us, I know Sirius walked in on us in the kitchen last weekend, but I’ve told him that he has to keep it to himself.” 

“Actually, that was the opposite of what I was going to say.” She said, suddenly very aware that the Fat Lady was watching them curiously. “I don’t want to pretend that this isn’t happening anymore.”

“Lily Evans, are you asking me out?” James grinned, his eyes alive with excitement. He’d been so patient, ever since she’d made him promise last September not to ask her, to instead wait until she asked him, he’d been more patient than she had ever expected him to be.

“Yeah, I’m asking you out. I don’t want to sneak around anymore.” She grinned back. “I am prepared to endure all of the teasing that’s obviously going to come with it, I was very vocally opposed to you.”

“You think I’m going to stand for anyone teasing you?” He challenged, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Well, anyone other than me teasing you, that is?” He clarified with a laugh. 

“No, hexing people on my account.” Lily warned, and James held his hands up defensively. 

“I’ll do my best.” He grinned. 

“James, I mean it—” Lily started to say but he grabbed her face and kissed her, she tried, unsuccessfully, not to smile and wrapped her arms around his neck. The Fat Lady cleared her throat and they quickly broke apart.

“You ready?” James asked, taking her hand again. She nodded, and James gave the password. There was a hush in the common room as they entered holding hands, a couple of giggles and then the whispers started. James drew his wand, and a vaguely threatening manner. “Not a word.” 

“James.” Lily sighed. “What did I _just_ say?”

“I think you said, ‘I’m asking you out.’” James smirked, and Lily rolled her eyes, he was as impossible as he had always been, but she had been finding more and more that she didn’t actually mind that. 

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.” She said, tugging him in the direction of their friends.


	17. Accidental "I Love You"

**December 1977**

“You’re the worst dancer I’ve ever met.” Lily laughed as James closed the hotel room door behind them and dropped her shoes in the corner. He didn’t think he was _that_ bad, her dance standards were just too high. 

“Look, I get points for enthusiasm. And I danced a lot more than Vernon did and it’s his and your sister’s bloody wedding day.” James said, kicking off his own shoes without bothering to undo the laces. Lily took a swig from the champagne bottle they’d nicked from downstairs and passed it to him. He watched as she sank down onto the bed and started to pull the pins out of her hair, the smile on her face faltering. “How are you holding up?” He asked quietly, kneeling down in front of her. 

“I just can’t believe she isn’t here for this. I can’t believe she won’t be here for _my_ wedding… Not that I’m saying that we’ll— I just mean in general, not necessarily to you. Forget I said anything, it’s the champagne.” She rambled, blushing slightly. James reached up and took out the final pin and the rest of her pretty red hair tumbled down from its bun. “Mum was so excited for Tuney’s wedding. I just can’t believe she’s gone.” 

James didn’t know what to say. It had been so sudden. A freak accident. And Lily had done such a good job at putting on a smile for today, but he could feel how much she was hurting. James was surprised that Petunia hadn’t postponed, but then, as Lily had reasoned, their mother had put so much work into it, she would have wanted Petunia to have her big day. “I’m so sorry.” He said, for what felt like the thousandth time. It still didn’t sound adequate. 

“I bet this isn’t what you were imagining when I said we’d be sharing a hotel room.” Lily said with a hollow, snotty laugh. “Less crying, more fucking.” 

James winced at the abrasiveness of the word. He didn’t usually mind when Lily swore, in fact he found it hot. But this didn’t paint him in a great light. “Well yeah.” He admitted reluctantly. “But I don’t _expect_ anything.” 

Lily was quiet for a moment, staring down at her knees. “I’m running out of people that love me, people that care what happens to me. I don’t think Tuney has loved me in a long time. Dad isn’t going to get better. I’m going to be all alone.” She whispered.

“You have me, I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” James said, it spilled out of his mouth before he could stop it. It was true. He meant it, but he hadn’t meant to say it, hadn’t _planned_ to say it now. Lily’s head shot up.

“You love me?” She asked, her eyes still full of tears but a smile pricking her lips. 

“I… Yeah, I love you, Lily Evans.” He sighed, slightly irritated with himself, but not really caring if she didn’t say it back. 

“Are you just saying that to get me into bed?” She teased, looking away. James’s face fell. He didn’t find that funny at all. 

“No.” He said firmly, and he gently took hold of her chin, forcing her to look at him. “No, I’m not.” He needed her to know that. 

“I love you too.” She smiled. James felt his heart speed up. She loved him, and maybe it was just because she was upset, but he would take it. Lily stood, pulling him with her and leant up to kiss him. James swallowed as she undid his belt. He deepened the kiss pressing her closer to him. She broke away and turned her back to him. “Unzip my dress?” James slid the zipper down and pushed it from her shoulders. Lily turned back to him and loosened his tie, before pulling it off over his head. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to…”

“That’s supposed to be what I say.” James grinned, undoing the buttons of his shirt. 

“Why, because you’re the bloke?” She challenged, raising her eyebrows. 

“No, because you’re upset and I don’t want you to feel like you _have_ to do this right now. We can wait.” Jame said, though he knew it was only _mostly_ true… the rest of it _was_ chivalry.

“I want you James.” Lily breathed, smirking as her eyes drifted down to see the effect those words alone had had on him. James grabbed her hips and pulled her back to him, and she tangled her fingers in his hair as he kissed her.


	18. Studying Together

**November 1976**

Lily liked watching James work. There was a small crease that formed in his brow when he was concentrating. His hand moved across her homework, correcting answers every so often. He’d always been the best at Charms… sometimes she liked to tell him so. After all, he’d always openly deferred to her for Potions help. They were sitting in a tiny alcove of the library, their chairs so close together that his forearm kept brushing against hers as he wrote. Rain lashed loudly against the windows in front of them, it was soothing, and even if the library wasn’t as warm as the common room, it was nice to know that inside the castle they were safe from the elements.

“Right,” James said, passing her back the parchment he’d corrected. “I think if you make these changes you’ll be sorted.” As Lily picked up her quill, James’s hand disappeared from view. She jumped slightly as he slid it up her skirt and placed it on her leg.

“You’re not helping.” She murmured. The grip on her quill tightened as he started to rub circles on the soft skin of her inner thigh. Lily felt her legs part before she could stop them, and she refused to look up to see the smirk that was bound to be on his face. 

“Am I distracting you?” He whispered, his breath tickling her ear, and his other hand popping open another button of her shirt, before he tucked it under his chin — elbow on the desk — to watch with and infuriating smugness the effect that he was having on her 

“Absolutely not.” Lily lied, trying to focus on the the theory behind the charm to turn vinegar to wine. She was sure James could perform the spell perfectly already. Perfect wine to go along with his perfect smile and perfect jaw, and it seemed, perfect hands. She swallowed as his fingers crept higher. 

“I don’t believe you.” He breathed, and Lily’s own breath hitched. She glanced over her shoulder, it didn’t seem like anyone else in the library was watching them.

“Do you think they’ll get suspicious in the kitchens if we ask for a bottle of vinegar?” She asked, trying to change the subject. “For educational purposes of course, I’m absolutely not asking you to have a drink with me.” She added quickly, letting her hair fall forwards to try and hide her grin.

“Of course.” James said with a fake seriousness in his voice, shifting in his seat slightly and tucking the curtain of hair behind her ear as he shuffled impossibly closer. “You’re a prefect after all.” 

“Exactly, I have to lead by exam—” She dug the tip of the quill into the parchment as James skimmed his finger against the crotch of her knickers. “James.” She breathed.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked, and she knew the innocence in his voice was fake. She found herself shaking her head. His fingers slipped inside her knickers and she gasped. With more self-control than she knew she possessed, Lily grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away, but not before he’d felt how much she needed him. 

“I want you to stop.” She muttered grumpily. She glanced up to see his smug smirk on his perfect face. He sat back in his chair to watch her carry on with her homework.


	19. In the Hospital Wing

**April 1978**

The second floor corridor was a mess. A window was broken, letting cold rain run down the wall, a portrait of two wizards playing chess was torn, and large pools of blood dotted the stone floor. 

“What happened?” Lily asked Florence, who was stood at one end of the corridor — she imagined to stop students using it before it was cleaned up.

“You don’t know?” Florence asked quickly, concern lacing the words. “Severus and James got into a fight, they’re in the hospital wing—” She had barely finished speaking; Lily hurtled down the stairs to her right, and along the corridor to the hospital wing. 

“James!” She shouted, pushing open the doors and striding passed the rows of curtained off beds. 

“Down here.” She heard him say from behind a wall of curtains. His voice sounded weak. She hurried towards him and pulled back the curtains.

“James.” She breathed, swaying slightly. He was white. A nasty wound ran from his shoulder to his hip, his white shirt was now stained red and balled up on the table beside him. Lily dropped down into the empty chair.

“It’s healing, don’t worry.” He said with a small smile. “Madam Pomfrey can work wonders, she said their might not even be a scar — not sure I believe her.”

“Severus did this to you?” She asked, sitting forwards to take his hand. She was going to kill him. 

“After he broke my leg!” Lily jumped at the sound of Snape’s voice as it echoed down the hospital wing, but she could see him. He must be similarly walled off. Madam Pomfrey clearly thought it best that they not be able to see each other. Lily yanked the curtain around James closed again and turned back to him.

“You broke his leg?” She challenged. He was Head Boy, he couldn’t behave like this any more. He was her fiancé, he couldn’t behave like this anymore. Fear flashed across his face, somewhere inside he thought she was going to leave him. Lily gripped his hand a little tighter. 

“I did.” James murmured. “And I’d do it again too.” 

“For fucks sake, James.” She sighed, picking up the cloth from the bowl beside him to wipe away the trickle of blood that had run down his ribs. 

“I won’t have anyone talking about you the way he did.” James said firmly, his hazel eyes boring into her hers with an intensity that made her heart flutter despite her frustration at him.

“What did he—”

“I’m not repeating it.” He snapped, turning his head to stare up at the ceiling. “It was vile… you’re furious at me aren’t you?” 

“You should have ignored him.” Lily mumbled, pressing her lips to his hand. 

“None of us would have.” And Lily knew that in her bones, she didn’t even need to know what had been said to know that was true. 

“What did he do to you?” Lily asked, touching her fingers to the skin of his torso, a couple of inches from the the cut. It looked deep, but it definitely looked better than when she’d entered, what ever it was it did seem to slowly be healing itself. James shrugged.

“I don’t know, but he’s done it before.” He said touching his cheek, and Lily remembered that sunny afternoon by the lake where he’d acted like a complete prick. “At least Madam Pomfrey has healed it before. She said it would be quicker if she actually had the counter curse, but the greasy bastard said he doesn’t know it, said he doesn’t even know what the spell was.” 

Lily was willing to bet her engagement ring that Snape was lying about that. “There’s so much blood upstairs.” She whispered. “You look awful.” 

“I’m going to be okay, I have to be, you only get to be the glamorous young widow if I die after we’re married.” He teased and Lily snorted. 

“That’s not funny.” She said, though her smile was betraying her.


	20. At a Party

**March 1976**

Lily had been feeling a little softer towards James lately. She’d woken up in the common room and found him asleep beside her on the floor and she’d realised that he hadn’t wanted to leave her down there by herself. It was a sweet gesture. She told herself it was just because she was half asleep, but she hadn’t been able to resist linking her little finger with his… She’d actually had the impulse to take his hand but she was worried that it might have woken him up.

She took it now though. “I want to give you your present.” She said. As she led him over to the door to the boys’ dormitories, his face lit up. Lily had to swallow back a laugh. If he thought _that_ was going to be his present then he was about to be very disappointed. She closed the door behind them and took a small box out of her pocket. Someone tried to open the door and James kicked it closed again, keeping his foot on it to stop anyone else interrupting them.

“Give me a minute!” He called, before opening the box and taking out the little golden Snitch, its little wings fluttered as it tried to escape his grip. Lily swallowed, it occurred to her now, that this was really stupid. She just should have given him a book or something, a normal present.

“I stole it from Madam Hooch’s office.” She grinned, trying to explain… the whole thing had been quite thrilling.

“You stole this? Lily Evans, you’re a _prefect_.” He smirked, his eyes alive with excitement. “You broke a rule, more than one I bet.”

“I did. It felt pretty good too. Though I am a little worried I’m going to get in trouble.” She admitted with a quiet laugh. “Happy birthday.”

“If anyone asks, I’ll say I nicked it, I have no problem getting in trouble.” James said, letting the Snitch fly for a moment before catching it. “I’m not sure you really know your Quidditch though, Evans. I’m a Chaser, I catch the big red ball.”

“I _know_ that.” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “This was just the easiest one to steal. The Bludgers try to kill people, and what was I supposed to do with the Quaffle, put it under my top and pretend to be pregnant?”

He was impressed, she could tell, but she was sure it had nothing to do with her knowledge of Quidditch terms. Lily, reached up and kissed his cheek, catching the corner of his mouth. “Happy birthday, James.” She said again, before nudging his foot away from the door with her own and hurrying back out into the common room. It hadn’t been about the Snitch, she could have stolen anything, she just wanted him to know that there was that side of her, that she could be rebellious, and break rules. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she _cared_ so much about how James Potter saw her.


	21. Doing Rounds

**April 1978**

James grabbed the bannister quickly as he and Lily reached the top of the marble staircase, worried he was going to topple backwards down them. Madam Pomfrey hadn’t wanted to let him out of the hospital wing yet but he’d had rounds to do and people all ready gave him enough shit for being Head Boy. 

“James?” Lily asked, grabbing his elbow and frowning slightly. 

“I’m alright, I just tripped.” He lied, she’d march him right back to the hospital wing and he was never very good at refusing her anything. “Oi! It’s past curfew!” He snapped at a Hufflepuff third year that hurtled round the corner. “Get back to your common room.” The boy stopped running and changed direction quickly. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled as he passed them on the stairs. 

“What are you grinning about?” He asked Lily as the started down the first floor corridor. 

“I just find it funny hearing you tell people off running round the castle after hours.” 

James returned the grin. “He didn’t even have the decency to put on an invisibility cloak.” 

“Not everyone can be as rich as you.” Lily muttered. 

“I didn’t buy that, that cloak has been passed down since... I don’t actually know, but it’s really old.” James said defensively. “Our son will get in one day... or daughter I guess.” 

Lily was quiet for a moment and they climbed another staircase, why did this stupid school have so many stupid stairs? “You think about that stuff?” She asked quietly, she was looking at the floor but he could hear the smile. 

“Yeah, sort of. I’d _like_ to have a child with you, more than one — I’d have been desperately lonely without the McKinnons — but if you don’t that’s also alright.” He added quickly. “And I’m not talking right now, before you pull me into an empty classroom, which I know you’re dying to do. I mean when we’re settled and the world isn’t quite so dangerous.” 

“I’m not _dying_ to pull you into an empty classroom, you’re so full of it.” Lily groaned. “But I think you had it better being an only child, Petunia had turned out to be a right bitch.”

“Nah, I really didn’t. Our son needs a Marley.” James said, pausing on the pretence of tying his shoe to get a break from walking. 

“You’re not alright!” Lily snapped. “You’ve gone white as a sheet!” 

James looked up at her guiltily and let her pull him up. “I couldn’t get one of the prefects to cover for me again. They already don’t think I should have the job. They’ve told me as much.”

“Florence has been lovely to you—”

“Last time I checked Florence wasn’t in the running for the job.” James countered. 

“You’ve checked have you?” Lily challenged, raising her eyebrows. 

“Shut up, you know what I mean.” He grinned. 

“Remus wouldn’t say anything bad about you, or to you.” And James knew that was true, but it hadn’t been Remus he’d been talking about. “Which prefects to I need to have a word with? Or I could send Marlene to beat them up.” 

“She would as well.” James laughed, and let Lily guide him back to the hospital wing, he didn’t have the energy to start a fight he had no chance of winning.


	22. With Baby Harry

**August 1980**

“Don’t let him get too close to the edge.” Lily warned as she walked into the living room to see James lying on his side on the sofa, Harry beside him.

“Where’s he going to go? He’s a week old.” James said.

“He might roll off.” Lily sighed, though even as she said it she wasn’t sure it sounded right, he hadn’t shown any indication of being able to roll anywhere.

“At a week old? Your mummy does think you’re advanced.” James grinned, letting Harry’s hand close around his finger. Lily sat down on the floor beside the sofa and placed her head against James’s leg.

“I think he’s perfect.” Lily sighed happily.

“You hear that Harry, you were worth the eighteen hours.” James laughed. “Even if you do look more like me.” 

“I just hope that doesn’t hold him back too much.” Lily said with a false sigh of concern, James pulled his finger free and reached back to tug her ponytail, before letting Harry grab it again.

“And there I was about to compliment the pretty eyes that he got from his mother.” James said, kissing their son’s fist. Lily saw his smile falter slightly and she rubbed her thumb over his hipbone. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked, though she knew the answer. He had to go on an Order mission. It was his turn, and he didn’t want to leave them. She didn’t want him to leave them either but she wasn’t going to make this any harder for him than it already was.

“It feels so much more terrifying now.” He murmured. “I have so much more to lose— Not that I didn’t before.” He added quickly. “But it’s just… now we have Harry.” 

“I know what you mean, I have one next week. Dearborn just told me.” Lily sighed.

“Dearborn can get fucked. You just had a baby.” James snapped, startling Harry. Lily reached over and scooped their son up as he started to cry.

“Shh, it’s okay sweetheart. Daddy didn’t mean to shout.” She soothed, standing up and walking him around the living room. She was so tired, she didn’t have the energy to argue with James right now. 

“We'll sort something out, get someone to cover it for you.” James said when Harry had eventually settled back down. Lily gave him a placating smile. James watched them for a few moments, she was sure that he was on the verge of saying something. In the end he just got up and kissed Harry’s head. “I love you both, so much.” He murmured. Lily reached up and kissed him softly. _He would be fine_. She tangled her fingers of her free hand in his hair as he deepened the kiss. They were on the same page. The same worry. 

Lily pulled back and brushed her thumb over his jaw. “Sirius will be here soon. You hear that Harry?" She added, looking down at the baby. "He’s going to take you for a nice little walk around the village while Mummy pretends to get some sleep.”

“You really should sleep. You look terrible — still beautiful of course.” James added quickly, good job too or Death Eaters would be the least of his worries.

“How am I supposed to sleep when I’m worried about you.” She mumbled. She’d be pacing the house like a caged lion. 

“Take a potion if you have to, please? For me?” James asked.

“I’ll think about it.” Lily sighed and James placed a kiss on her forehead, and with what seemed to be an incredible effort, strode from the room, closing the door behind him.


	23. James Being Impressed with Lily

**March 1978**

James walked once more down the seventh floor corridor. Mary had said that Lily had gone to dance, and sure enough there was that stupid door. He pushed it open and closed it quietly behind him, sitting on the floor. 

Lily was always so mesmerising when she danced, moving quickly on her toes, leaping and spinning to the music. Her arms moving so gracefully. He could spend the rest of his life watching her. 

“How do you do that?” He asked, after a while. Lily spotted him in the mirrored wall and grinned.

“Years and years of practice and hard work.” She murmured. James kicked off his shoes and went to join her, trying to copy the way that she’d moved her arms but he looked ridiculous. Lily ran her hands across his arms, moving them for him, straightening his shoulders. She slid her hand down his front as he breathed in and placed a kiss between his shoulder blades. He breath hitched as her fingers dipped below the waist of his jeans, grazing his skin. Lily moved around to face him and lifted herself up to sit on the bar that ran along the mirror.

“Are all your toenails still attached?” He asked taking hold of one of her ankles and unfastening the ribbons of her shoe. His stomach rolled slightly as he remembered the time one of the nails had just come off in her hand. “You might be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, but your feet are disgusting.” He grinned, and Lily laughed. 

“Evidence of years and years practice and hard work.” She shrugged. 

“How is it that this room is only here when you want to use it? When I come looking it’s a solid wall.” He challenged. It was so frustrating, they’d tried to include it on the map but drawing kept disappearing. 

“I expect it’s because it can tell that you’re a terrible dancer.” Lily teased. James rolled his eyes and lifted her leg up, kissing the back of her knee. Her flexibility was a wonderful bonus. “James!” She laughed, he grabbed hold of her other ankle when she tried to kick him away.


	24. Come Home

**August 1980**

Lily should have been home hours ago. 

She shouldn’t have gone in the first place, Harry was two weeks old. She shouldn’t have gone in the first place. Scheduling Order missions so that none of them got over worked, none of them shouldered too much risk alone, so those who also worked could still do so, had sounded wonderful at first, and they were so outnumbered, already stretched so thin… But now they had Harry. And he was two weeks old. 

And Lily should have been home hours ago. 

He had to go and look for her, she could be enduring any number of unspeakable horrors… She could already be dead. _No_. She was fine. She had to be fine. 

Harry started to cry, and James started, jumping to his feet. He hurried up the stairs and into the little boy’s room, gently picking him. “Oh sweetheart, are you hungry?” He carried him down to the kitchen, trying to soothe him while he heated the bottle of breastmilk. 

“I know it’s not as good as mummy’s boob, but she’s not home yet so this is all there is.” He sighed when Harry put up the same fuss he'd been putting up every time James had tried to feed him today. But, as always, Harry did eventually settle and accept the bottle. She’d expressed enough to keep Harry fed while she was gone, but if she didn’t come back…

 _She would be fine._

Harry drank his fill and James placed a towel over his shoulder, lifting the boy up to burp him. This was better, he could pace while he did this. Pacing helped. He never used to be a pacer, but pacing helped. “Mummy will be home soon.” He said, rubbing Harry’s back, more to reassure himself than his son. 

Another two hours passed, Harry had gone back to sleep and there had still been no sign of Lily. He had just placed him in his crib, intending to send for Marlene to watch him while he searched for his wife, when the front door opened. James bolted down the stairs in time to see Lily stagger into the hallway. She was covered in blood. 

“ _Lily_!”

“Help me.” She begged, gripping the bannister to try and keep herself upright. 

“Whose blood is this?” He asked, already sure he knew the answer, as he helped her into the living room and onto the sofa. Now he could clearly see that her clothes were torn and blood was seeping from a wound on her torso. A disturbingly familiar wound. He pulled off her top and grabbed his wand. The deep cut wasn’t healing easily. He darted into the kitchen and grabbed Lily’s box of potions, looking for any bottles that might help her. What she needed was St Mungo’s. If this didn’t work he’d have get someone to watch Harry and take her there, she’d be too weak to apparate herself. “Drink these.” He muttered, lifting her head to help her. He ran his wand over the wound again, muttering every healing spell he could think of, and slowly the skin started to stitch itself back together. “I’m better at this than Marley, but I can’t promise that it’s not going to scar.” 

“It’s alright.” She murmured, tying to push herself into a more comfortable position. James took her hand and kissed it. She was home, she was _alive_ , and she was _home_. He gave her all of thirty seconds before demanding details.

“ _What happened_?” He hissed, he wasn’t angry at her, he’d just been so afraid. “You were supposed to be home ages ago.” He added, softer this time. “Wait, did Dearborn just leave you like this?”

“No, of course not, he brought me back here but I wouldn’t let him inside. For his own safety.” Lily explained. James huffed, probably a good idea. “We were fine, we were out of there, and then we ran into Rabastan Lestrange and—”

“Snivellus.” James finished, he recognised his handiwork.

“Yeah.” Lily muttered. James’s grip on her hand tightened so much that she winced. He quickly let go. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

“No, but tell me anyway.” James said, he needed to know what had happened. 

“Severus asked Lestrange to leave me to him. We were duelling, and I was _winning_ , but then he hit me with that fucking curse of his, and I was bleeding out in front of him.” James closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, he could picture it so vividly and he wished that he couldn’t. “He set me back on my feet — had to hold me there because I couldn’t stand, I was in so much pain and there was so much blood—” Her voice cracked and James grabbed her hand again. “—told me that he’d heal me if I swore to leave you and Harry. Said he knew that it probably wouldn’t be easy to leave my son, but that he’d give me child of our own.” Lily sounded as disgusted by idea as James felt. His rage was bubbling thick and fast towards the surface. “Asked if you were really worth dying for. Can you believe that?” She laughed bitterly. 

“I’m not—”

“ _Yes, you are_.” She snarled. “But I had no intention of dying in the cold, in the dirt, at Severus Snape’s feet.” 

“How did you get away?” James asked, and Lily shifted, suddenly seeming very interested in the collar of his shirt. “Lily?”

“He was going on and on about how much he loved me—” 

James snorted, the last time he checked, you didn’t let someone you loved bleed to death in front of you from the curse you hit them with when you were perfectly capable of healing them. 

“And so I kissed him, grabbed my wand from his pocket and stunned him, dragged myself up to Dearborn — he was in pretty bad shape too — blasted Lestrange out of the way and we ran for it, well figuratively speaking.” She said all this very quickly, as though ripping off a plaster. James got up and started to pace the room again, aiming a kick at the ugly vase from Petunia by the fireplace. Unfortunately he missed. “I’m so sorry.” She added in a whisper. 

“What for?” James asked, spinning round to face her.

“For kissing him. You’re angry.” 

“I’m fucking furious!” He shouted, before quickly lowering his voice, not wanting to wake Harry. “But not at you. Never at you. And certainly not for _that_.” He sat down on the coffee table in front of her. “And I would rather you were alive than with me. You were trying to stay alive, doing whatever you had to do to get home to us, how could you think I would be angry at you for that? I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Lily breathed reaching over to cup his cheek.

“Snivellus is dead if ever run into him though.” He promised. He was going to make it slow, painful, those thoughts would soothe him tonight, while he desperately tried to sleep. James’s eyes drifted from Lily’s pale face to the ceiling when Harry started to cry. “He probably needs changing, feeding too I expect. Just relax, I’ll go and heat a bottle.” He murmured, kissing her softly. 

“No, I’m so uncomfortable, I need to breastfeed.” Lily sighed, and with his help she pushed herself to sit up. James left her there, rather reluctantly, and went up to Harry. He set him down on the changing table and changed his nappy, trying desperately to keep his hands from shaking with the rage that was still coursing through his veins. Harry didn’t need to see that.

“It’s okay sweetheart. Mummy is home now.” James murmured. “Now, I don’t want you to worry, she looks a bit beaten up but she’s okay.” He carried him downstairs and into the living room. Lily hand conjured a cloth and a bowl of warm water to try and wipe away some of the blood. She’d already taken off her bra and James handed Harry over to her. He latched to her breast straight away. “Oh, but when Daddy tried to feed you there was all that fuss.” He said, rolling his eyes. Lily grinned, and beckoned him closer for another kiss.


	25. Lily Thinks James Has Lost Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went for sixth year not seventh.

**May 1977**

Lily took her bottle of Butterbeer from Madam Rosmerta and weaved her way through the crowded pub to the table the girls were already sitting at. They weren’t talking, their intention seemed occupied by something else. “What are we looking at?” She asked, following their gaze to where James sat in the corner, laughing with the Ravenclaw captain. She was a pretty, dark haired fifth year. They looked cozy. “Oh.” She mumbled. 

“She came and sat next to him.” Dorcas said quickly, catching the look on Lily’s face before she could hide it. 

“I’d have thought she’d have been smarting from losing to you yesterday.” Lily said, why was the Ravenclaw captain cozying up to the Gryffindor captain? 

“He’s a bloody traitor.” Marlene muttered. Lily knew that her sourness only had to do with Quidditch. Maybe for James’s safety she shouldn’t recommend any Shakespeare plays to Marlene for a while, she didn’t want her getting any revenge ideas now that her brother had committed the ultimate act of betrayal. “He _can’t_ be interested in the Ravenclaw captain. I won’t allow it.” 

“Yeah.” Lily murmured, taking a sip of her drink but the sweetness just made her feel sick. She pushed the bottle in Mary’s direction. This was her fault, she’d asked him to wait and now he was getting lonely or bored. Sneaking off for a snog and a bit of grope obviously wasn’t enough for him anymore. “I’m going back to the castle.” She mumbled, getting to her feet. As she walked past him she could feel him watching her. 

“Evans!” He called, but she ignored him, the last thing she wanted was to join them. She stepped out into the sunshine and started up the high street in the direction of the school. James wrapped his arm around her waist, and tugged her against him, pulling her into an alleyway and out of sight. “You didn’t even struggle, what if I’d been a Death Eater?” James frowned, turning her to face him.

“I knew it was you. I know what you smell like—” _What he felt like_. She blushed and James grinned, before it faltered.

“Didn’t you hear me call you?” He asked.

“I did, I ignored you.” Lily said, not meaning for it to sound so harsh. James’s face fell. “I didn’t want to interrupt your date.” 

“What are you—”

“It’s okay, really. I shouldn’t have asked you to wait and not ask out any other girls, especially when I couldn’t give you any idea of how long for. If you want to go out with Marcella, you can, it’s okay.” She said, trying to smile. “She’s pretty, and plays Quidditch.” Of course he’d moved on to a Quidditch player. “It’s alright if you’ve lost interest, we can still be friends—” James cut her off with a kiss, but she didn’t kiss him back — with great difficulty, it was more challenging not to kiss him back than she’d imagined. James quickly pulled back to look at her. 

“You’ve lost your mind.” He muttered, she tried to push past him but he blocked her in, backing her further away from the high street. 

“Let me go.” She sighed, it was hard enough for her already without him making it worse. 

“No.” He said. “Not until we’ve sorted this out. I wasn’t on a date with Marcella, she came and sat by me. We were chatting, she’s nice. We were talking about yesterday’s match. I have no intention of going out with any girl that isn’t you. I’d rather never go out with anyone.” 

“You’ve not… lost interest?” Lily asked, hating how hopeful she sounded. 

“It’s embarrassing how much of my time is spent thinking about you. You’re in half my dreams.” He grinned. 

“You dream about me? What sort of dreams?” She smirked. James laughed and backed her right up against the wall, the bricks digging into her skin through her thin shirt. He laced their fingers together and lifted her arms above her head, capturing her lips with his. She wanted to hold onto him, but he wouldn’t let her go. There was such a demand in his kiss that she could hardly keep up. He broke away and she’d barely had chance to catch her breath before his lips found the pulse in her neck. Could he feel how hard her heart was pounding? “If you leave a mark I’ll never speak to you again.” She moaned, not sure she’d ever be able to follow through with that threat. She could feel his lips turn up in a smirk against her skin. 

No, he hadn’t lost interest in her.


	26. The Wedding

**October 1978**

The only thing Lily had asked James for was a Muggle wedding, she had family and old family friends, ones who knew nothing of the magical world, that she wanted to invite — that her mother would have wanted to invite — that meant that they needed a Muggle wedding. James had been happy to oblige, but honestly, she was sure that he’d have given her anything she’d asked for. Most of their wizarding guests had done okay at blending in, but there was still the odd questionable fashion choice that cause a couple of raised eyebrows… and a lot of brightly coloured suits that pricked a smile at the corner of Lily’s lips every time she saw one. 

It was colder than she’d been expecting for early October, and the sky was dark like it was about to rain. It wouldn’t be good for them to hang around outside for long, they had to move on to the reception. James kissed her hand as their guests filed out of the church. 

“Lily, you look beautiful.” Sirius smiled, pulling her into a gentle hug. 

“I know, I almost look as good as you.” Lily grinned, and Sirius barked out a laugh. The photographer snapped a photo of them and she looked around. “Where’s Marley gone? She’s slacking on her bridesmaid duties.” Lily said, lifting her veil so it didn’t drag across the pavement. 

“She’s probably chatting, I’ll go and find her.” James said, giving her a soft kiss before disappearing back into the church. Petunia didn’t look at her as she left, Vernon pushing her father along in his wheel chair. It broke her heart to see him looking so frail...he wasn't even _old._ He hadn’t been able to walk her down the aisle. Mr McKinnon had offered, but she’d turned him down. Remus had even offered, but she’d turned him down too. If it couldn’t be her dad, she didn’t want anyone to do it. 

Vernon glanced over at her before turning to Petunia. “What a bunch of freaks. Let’s hope they don’t breed.” He muttered. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Sirius snapped, starting forwards. Lily grabbed his arm but he pulled out of her grasp.

“Sirius, leave it.” She begged. Petunia would never forgive her if her husband got blasted into a thousand pieces. 

“I said, what the fuck did you just say?” Sirius asked again, ignoring her. Vernon looked startled for a moment before straightening his tie. 

“I said that I hope these freaks don’t breed.” Vernon said, drawing himself up. Sirius swung back his fist and hit him in the face. Vernon let out a yell of pain as blood splattered Petunia’s dress. Sirius’s face fell into a smug grin as he looked back at Lily.

“Sorry, Lils.” He shrugged. Lily screamed as Vernon dived forwards, his own fist connecting with Sirius, catching him off guard. Remus and Mr McKinnon, darted forward, separating them.

“What the hell is going on?” James shouted, hurtling out of the church, Marlene close behind him. Sirius touched his lip and spat a mouthful of blood onto the floor. “Lily, are you alright?” Her husband asked, pulling her to the side slightly. She looked from Petunia, trying to calm their now very agitated father, to Remus, his hands out, trying to keep Vernon from lunging at Sirius again, to Marlene trying to wipe the blood off Sirius’s face while Mr McKinnon lectured him.

“Yeah.” She sighed, leaning up to give him a reassuring kiss. 

“Let’s just get everyone to the reception, we can do the photos there in the warmth.” James said and then, with a grin, he added “Mrs Potter.” 

Lily laughed. “At least we managed to get one photo where the best man doesn’t have a split lip.” They could hardly heal it, her great aunt Gladys didn’t miss thing.


	27. Sleep Talking/Watching the Other Sleep

**December 1977**

James wasn’t sure if he was woken by the morning light streaming in through the hotel room window, or Lily’s dark red hair tickling him as it fanned across his face. He didn’t think that had been how they’d fallen asleep, her lying on her side in his arms. Had he pulled her close in the night, or had she woken wanting to feel his arms around her? Whichever it was, he didn’t mind. 

Last night had been better than he’d imagined. It had been awkward and funny, sure, but still better than he’d dreamed… and he had dreamt a lot about having sex with Lily Evans. James had been a little worried about hurting her, it was as new to him as it had been to her, but she’d seemed okay. 

Lily loved him, and desired him, and he could hardly believe his luck. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was still naked in his arms, he’d have been sure he’d imagined the previous day. James shifted slightly, intending to brush her hair from his face, but he had to bite back a groan at the movement of her bum against his groin. He didn’t want to wake her but he couldn’t bring himself to roll away. Lily let out a soft moan in her sleep and James bit down hard on his bottom lip; if she was awake he’d have accused her of doing it on purpose. 

He pressed his lips to her shoulder, and feathered kisses up her neck, he wanted her to hurry and wake up. 

“James.” She breathed.

“Yeah?” He whispered, but there was no further response. He splayed the hand of the arm trapped beneath her across her ribcage, his thumb tracing patterns on the underside of her breast. The fingers of his other hand doing the same over her hip bone. She sighed his name again, and he watched as her hand disappeared beneath the sheet and he felt her slide it between her legs. She was going to kill him, this would be listed as the cause of death on his death certificate. He supposed his friends would get a good laugh out of it. 

“Morning, James.” She said, her voice unmistakably awake this time. “You want to take over?” He could hear the smug smirk in her voice, she already knew the answer to her question. James trailed his fingers from her hip, pushing her hand aside to replace it with his own. She was so aroused. Lily gasped out his name as his fingers danced and she reached back to tangle her hands in his hair, tugging him back to her neck. James shifted again and pushed into her from behind; it would be even better than last night, things were always better with practice.


	28. Leaving Harry

**January 1981**

James didn’t pull the invisibility cloak off of them until they had been buzzed into the building and the door had closed behind them. 

“Are you excited to spend sometime with Sirius and Marley?” Lily asked, holding Harry a little closer. She didn’t want to leave him, but she didn’t dare voice that. Any sign of indecision and James would never let her come. They’d already had two massive arguments about it. They climbed the stairs and Marlene opened the door to the flat, her wand raised slightly.

“What photo did I have on my bedside table as a kid?” She asked. They all understood why this was necessary... though half the time they forgot to do it anyway.

“Me and you as kids running round some field in Dover? Was it?” James frowned. 

“Devon, you idiot.” She laughed, stepping aside to let them in. “We never went to Dover. But I’m not going to hold your shit memory against you.” 

“Marley.” Lily sighed, covering Harry’s ears. They all had to stop swearing in front of him. Sure, he was only six months old right now, but he was eventually going to start copying them. Lily carried Harry into the living room and Sirius jumped up from the sofa, arms out.

“Where’s my favourite godson?” He asked and Lily handed him over.

“How many godsons do you have, mate?” James grinned, and Sirius told him to shut up. 

“Do you have time for a cup of tea?” Marlene asked, taking the bag that James handed to her. Lily shook her head. “Hey, it’s alright, he’s going to be okay. I promise we won’t break him.” She added with a smile. 

“Practice for when you two have one?” James grinned, taking Harry back from Sirius so he could say goodbye.

“Don’t give her ideas.” Sirius muttered. Lily didn’t miss the warning look that Marlene shot him, and she was sure that there was a fight they hadn’t been privy too. James handed Harry to Lily while he went through their son’s routine with his godparents, as though this was the first time they were ever looking after him — to their credit they were very patient about the whole thing — and she cuddled Harry close. 

“Mummy and Daddy love you so much. We have to go out for a little bit, but we’ll be back soon.” She whispered, kissing his head and rubbing his back. “So I want you to be good, and go to sleep nicely, none of your usual carrying on, alright?” She wouldn’t cry. She couldn’t cry. They would be fine, she and James would be back to pick him up tomorrow. Lily handed Harry to Marlene, bid them goodbye, and strode from the flat before she could change her mind. She pressed her forehead against the wall outside their front door. She could do this, it was just another mission, she’d done them before, done them since Harry had been born — though the last one she had done had gone disastrously wrong. _Fucking Snivellus._

“Are you alright?” James asked, closing the door behind him.

“Yeah, it’s just hard to leave him, I know you know that.” She sighed, slipping her hand into her husband’s.

“You can stay… I can do this by myself—”

“James.” She sighed, as they walked down the stairs. She went to open the main door but he pulled her back, trapping her against it. “What are you doing?” 

“Listen,” He said, tugging her around to face him. “If something goes wrong tonight, I need you to leave it to me, you need to get out of there—”

“You have lost your fucking mind.” Lily snapped, shoving against his chest. “I’m not leaving you. Ever.” 

“Lily.” He groaned. “Harry needs you, you’re his mother.”

“Oh, and I suppose he’ll be just fine without his daddy will he? If that’s how you feel then just leave us.” Lily snarled, pushing him so hard this time that he stumbled backwards. 

“Fuck off, Evans. You know that’s not how I feel.” He hissed, pulling the cloak out of his pocket and throwing it over them. “Let’s just get this done. We can fight about it later.” 

“Fine.” She muttered, holding out her arm. He grabbed hold and she turned on the spot, disapparating.


	29. Leaving Harry: Part Two

**January 1981**

Lily shivered as they skirted the edge of the building, wands raised. It was freezing cold, and it didn’t help that James was being so icy with her. All this for a fucking book. Dumbledore owed them. “Have you tried summoning it?” She asked, though she thought it highly unlikely that this was the sort of dark object that could just be summoned.

“ _Accio creepy book._ ” James said bluntly, pointing his wand a window. “Shocking.” He added sarcastically, and Lily glared at him. 

“No offence, Potter, but tonight I’m really regretting marrying you.” Lily snapped. Guilt settled in her stomach as she saw the hurt pass across his face. Served him right for being a prick. Hadn’t she proved her ability already? Then she went and had a child and it was like he suddenly thought she was made of glass, it was infuriating. 

“We’ll split up, if one of us finds it, send a patronus. Take the cloak.” He said, trying to hand it to her. 

“It’s your cloak.” She said, shaking her head and taking step back. 

“ _Evans_.” He growled. He darted forward and seized hold of her wrist, forcing the fabric into her hand. She winced at the tightness of his grip.

“You’re hurting me.” She muttered, and he released her so fast she might have burnt him. 

“I’ll see you soon.” He said, stalking away. _I love you too_. Lily pulled the cloak over herself and carried on until she found a door — it opened with _Alohomora_ which surprised her. The cavernous space inside was empty, she’d expected this. It would have been remarkable if she’d found it right away. She tried room after room, the building looked long abandoned and she was starting to wonder if this was even the right place. And then she heard James yell. Lily ran, throwing open every door in her way, desperately searching for her husband. He was on his knees in front of a stocky little woman, clutching his side, his wand ten feet from him.

“ _Avada Ke—_ ”

“ _Stupefy!_ ” Lily screamed, pulling off the cloak. The woman swayed for a second and fell forwards. 

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” Lily felt her wand slip from her grasp, and arms closed around her torso, fingers digging in. 

“Let me go!” She shouted, struggling against the tight grip. The breath against her cheek was hot, foul. James made a dive for his wand but Snape and Mulciber apparated in front of him, taking off their masks. That didn’t bode well. 

“I feel like I’m seeing more of you than I did at school.” Mulciber said pleasantly, looking between them. “Is she dead?” He asked Snape, inclining his head at the Death Eater Lily had stunned. Snape kicked her, turning her with his foot and shook his head. “Good.” 

“ _Crucio_.” Snape said, pointing his wand at James, a sickening smile on his face. James screamed, his whole body convulsing. Lily clawed at the arms holding her, desperate to break free, desperate to protect him. Snape lifted the curse, and James collapsed, panting. “What are you doing here?” 

“Date night.” James gasped, pushing himself to his feet, before his face fell into a smirk. “You know how it is, Snivellus…oh wait, you don’t. Evans married _me_ instead.” 

“ _Crucio!_ ” Snape bellowed in outrage. Lily screamed along with him this time. He was doing it on purpose, antagonising him. 

“Actually,” Mulciber said, turning to Lily. “Where _is_ your son tonight?” 

“Yes, because I’m really going to tell you.” Lily snapped. 

“I’m not worried, Greyback will get it out of you.” Mulciber shrugged. Lily’s stomach plummeted, she now knew who had hold of her. His arms released her and her back slammed against the wall. She got a last glimpse of James’s white, stricken face before Greyback advanced, trapping her in. 

“Such a pretty thing.” He said, baring his yellow teeth. His body was as hot as his breath, dirty. “Do you taste as good as you smell?” He asked, a large hand closing around her throat.

“I doubt it, she’s a fucking Mudblood.” Mulciber laughed. “Oi!” There was a thud and a yell; it sounded as though Mulciber’s boot had connected with James. His reaction to that word was instinctual, violent, but they had bigger things to worry about right now. 

“Severus, help her.” James pleaded. “I don’t care what you do to me, just don’t let him—”

“I’m not going to kill her. Snape can have her when I’ve finished.” Greyback smiled. Lily winced as the fingers of his other hand dug painfully into her hip. The wall was like ice against her back, the cold seeping through her clothes. She was choking, she couldn’t breathe. _Think!_ How the fuck was she going to get out of this one? How the fuck was she going to get James out of this one? They had to get home to Harry. The both had to make it home. They had a son who needed _both_ of them. 

“We only need one.” Snape said. “I’ll kill Potter.” A burning hatred for Snape coursed through her, _James had saved his life_. 

“Wait, first… _Imperio_.” Mulciber said. “Greyback, get out of the way— you can have your fun in a minute.” He added when Greyback let out a growl. Greyback released her, he’d been pressing her so hard against the wall that she staggered forward. James was facing her, his wand back in his hand. “Use the Cruciatus curse on your wife.” Mulciber smiled. There had been no reason for him to say it out loud, no reason beyond wanting her to know exactly what was coming. Lily felt a tear roll down her cheek, even if they made it out of this alive, James would never forgive himself.

“James, please.” She whispered. They stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime. _Fight it, please fight it!_

“Lily, duck!” He shouted. Lily hit the floor and the blast from his wand shattered the windows. James summoned her wand and the cloak, grabbed her arm, and she felt the familiar sensation of apparition. 

_Alive. They were alive._

Lily let them back into the cottage, her hand shaking. _They were home_. As soon as James had closed the door behind them she pulled him to her, her lips finding his in the dark hallway. It didn’t matter that they’d been fighting, it didn’t matter that she’d been angry. She needed to be with him — that had been so fucking close, too fucking close. She tore at his shirt as he lifted her. 

They didn’t make it to the bedroom. They had sex on the stairs.


	30. Leaving Harry: Part Three

**January 1981**

Lily had spent a long time in the shower trying to scrub away the feel of Fenrir Greyback. Her neck was so sore, dark bruises where his hands had been were already blossoming across her pale skin. She pressed her forehead to the wet tiles, letting her tears mix with the water. After a few steadying breaths she turned off the tap, wrapped herself in a towel, and fixed a smile back on to her face. She didn’t want James to worry. 

He’d made sure that the bedroom was beautifully warm for her, and she felt such a wave of affection towards him. 

“You’re still naked.” She grinned, her eyes raking over his muscles. Her cheeks grew warm as she remembered the way he had pressed her down against the stairs, the way he’d gripped the bannister as she’d clawed at his back, trying to pull him impossibly closer. 

“I am.” He said, grabbing the towel to pull her to him, before he yanked it from her body. “Now you are too.” She’d forgotten one for her hair, and water droplets rolled down her back. Lily let out a scream as he took hold of her waist, pulling her onto him and rolling them over. His hazel eyes met her green ones with such an intensity that she felt it between her legs. Lily ran her tongue over her bottom lip and her foot over his calf muscle. “How’s your back?” He asked, and Lily grinned.

“It stings.” She laughed, rolling over onto her front to show him the carpet burn that the stair had left on her lower back. She shivered when he pressed his lips to it. 

“I’m sorry.” He smiled against her skin. Lily had been about to turn back over when he flopped down beside her, his expression suddenly serious. 

“James?” She asked, propping herself up on her elbows.

“I’m so fucking sorry.” He whispered, his eyes wet with tears. He was no longer talking about her back. “I almost tortured you. I really struggled to throw that curse off, it was so close and I’m so sorry.”

“It wouldn’t have been your fault. If you’d done it, it wouldn’t have been _you_ , I know that, I wouldn’t have held it against you—”

“ _I_ would have held it against me.” James hissed. “And I’ve treated you appallingly the last few days. I shouldn’t have tried to make you say home… and if you had, I would dead right now.” 

Lily smiled, so grateful for his apology, and pressed her lips to is ribs. He winced; he’d healed the broken bone while she was in the shower but it must have still been sore. “Well, if _you’d_ stayed home, Greyback would have—” She broke of as his eyes darkened, she could see the rage and hatred bubbling behind them. It seemed to take him an immense amount of effort to swallow it back down but it was completely absent from his touch as he gently traced a finger over the bruise on her hip. “He’s a monster.” She murmured. “I don’t mean because of what he _is_ —”

“I know you don’t.” James said quickly. It had nothing to do with him being a werewolf, he was just evil. 

“—he’s just a monster.” And she was sure that he would be haunting her nightmares for a while. James shifted closer to her and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep them from hurting you.”

“It’s not your fault… The Cruciatus curse doesn’t get any easier does it.” He said, and she knew it wasn’t really a question. 

“No, it doesn’t.” She’d experienced it enough to last her a life time. “But I’d rather they did it to me than watch them hurt you like that again.” His screams had ripped through her soul. 

“Lily.” James said, shaking his head, his voice thick. A tear dislodged itself and ran down his cheek. He quickly brushed it away. He placed his lips against her shoulder and she sighed. 

“Did you really have to start provoking Snape like that?” She asked, her mouth twitching upwards at the stupid question. It felt like asking the grass if it really had to be green.

“I think it’s just muscle memory at this point.” James laughed, his breath tickling her skin. 

“All that and we didn’t even get the fucking book.” 

“I did!” James said, looking up so quickly that he headbutted her in the jaw.

“Ouch!” She yelped.

“Sorry.” He was grinning now as he moved her hand to kiss it. “I felt that.”

“What do you mean you got the book?” She asked, settling on her side against the pillows. 

“I got it right before that cow found me.” James said. “It was in my back pocket the whole time… I’m not surprised you didn’t notice it, you were in such a rush to rip my clothes off.” He added with a smirk.

“You say that like mine aren’t torn to shreds all the way up the stairs.” Lily huffed.

“We’ll take it to Dumbledore once we’ve collected Harry.” James said, following her eyes to the clock. She wanted to get him _now_ but it was so early, Sirius and Marlene would be pissed if they went hammering on the door at this time. “He’ll be waking up before long, I wonder how the doting godparents have coped?” He asked. Lily laughed, more than a small part of her hoped that he given Sirius and Marlene as much trouble as he sometimes gave them. Her smile faltered, and James touched her cheek. “What’s the matter, Evans?” He used her old surname in a far kinder way than he had done last night.

“I need you to know that I wouldn’t have told them where he was.” She said, feeling suddenly fierce. “There’s _nothing_ Greyback could have done to me that would make me give Harry up.” James tangled his fingers in her wet hair and pulled her to him, kissing her with the same ferocity that had ignited in her soul.


	31. The Prophecy

**March 1980**

James got up from the chair opposite Dumbledore’s desk and moved to stand behind Lily, his hands gripping her shoulders. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.” He said through gritted teeth. 

“A prophecy has been made about the one with the power to defeat Voldemort… it is very possible that it could be your child.” Dumbledore said, he was looking at them with a pitying expression that did nothing to calm James down. Lily reached up and took his hand. “ _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…_ ” Dumbledore recited again. 

Lily winced and James had to force his hand to loosen slightly. “I’m due at the end of July.” She whispered, and Dumbledore nodded. 

“Thrice defied him…” James said, watching the rain lash against the window. “Fine. That’s easy enough. I’ll just walk up to Voldemort, tell him how much of a cunt I think he is, and let him _almost_ kill me. I’ll have defied him four times. The prophecy won’t apply to our baby anymore.”

“James.” Lily sighed, squeezing his hand, and he aimed a kick at his empty chair. 

“Lily.” James hissed. “He’s telling us that our kid is going to have to be a killer or be killed. Give me a minute to be fucking angry, alright?” That was not even close to the future that had been envisioning. 

“What do you mean, mark him as his equal?” Lily asked, how did she sound _so calm_? James wanted to throw things, he wanted to curse Dumbledore for putting this on them. And Lily was just seemed so _infuriatingly_ calm.

“I believe, if Voldemort decides that the prophecy does refer to your child, he will attack.” Dumbledore said gravely, and Lily’s hand flew protectively to her stomach.

“He can try.” James snarled. He wasn’t going to let Voldemort anywhere Lily and their baby. “You keep talking about ‘him’ and ‘he’, the prophecy refers to a boy. We might have a girl,” he said, and then added, as though if he said it forcefully enough, it would make it true, “we _are_ having a girl.” They didn’t know, they’d wanted it to be a surprise, but they _could_ have a daughter. Lily stood so suddenly that James jumped. “Lily!” He called as she strode from the room.

He hurried after her, down the stairs, through the corridors and caught up with her in the Entrance Hall. “Lily.” He said again, grabbing her arm and spinning her round to face him. “It’s going to be okay, Dumbledore said it might not be referring to our baby.” 

“We’re having a boy.” She whispered, and James shook his head, reaching out and placing his hands gently on her bump.

“We don’t know that, we could have a girl—”

“I couldn’t wait, I know we said we would but I couldn’t… we’re having a son.” Tears were rolling down her cheeks now and felt the floor fall away from him for the second time that night. “I’m so sorry.” 

He was going to have a son? A little boy. It wasn’t fair that something so wonderful, something that should have elated him, had been tainted like this… and left him feeling so helpless and terrified. James pulled her into his arms. “It’s going to be alright. I’ll keep him safe. I’ll keep you both safe.” He promised.


End file.
